Richard Simmons would be hella proud of your sweatin’ to the oldies look.
Those bottom biscuits look like they rose too much and are melting their way down the pan.
Holy balls of fire! You are the rooster king!!! Oh my dear sweet drooling, poopin’, crying baby Jesus that is one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen. I’m more in awe and impressed than I am angry you go out in public like this. Wow! Is that a neck beard or overgrown chest hair…you know what, I don’t even care. Either way I will follow you into the depths of hell.
What the hell? First, I’m pretty sure dudes at the International Space Station even have a better way to dry their ass and they are floating in space. Secondly, and most importantly, you’re wasting your time. Have you ever tried to dry your hands using one of those things? Useless, it just pushes the water to other parts of your hand. I can only imagine what it’s doing to your taint.