Y’all can’t even fathom the level of love that grandmothers have. You think you know, but you have no idea. Can you imagine loving people so hard you’re willing to embroider a fleece where Bubba is like the 4th worst name and wear it in public? No, your head can’t even imagine that love. You probably stopped reading by now and have spaced off wondering how someone on this Earth has the name Shitney right now. As you should.
Holy balls of fire! You are the rooster king!!! Oh my dear sweet drooling, poopin’, crying baby Jesus that is one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen. I’m more in awe and impressed than I am angry you go out in public like this. Wow! Is that a neck beard or overgrown chest hair…you know what, I don’t even care. Either way I will follow you into the depths of hell.
Cardboard signs – we’re taking them back!
If everyone could please take their seats…wait. No! I meant sit in them, not actually take them. They have not been paid for, you will get stopped at the door.