Stories

01.31.

Pitfalls In Parenting

My friend and I were walking into a Walmart not long ago when we noticed what seemed to be a little girl, 3 years old or so, digging in the back of her pants. As we got closer we realized that she was not digging in her pants, she was trying to pull them up as her speed walking mother pulled her along by her other arm. I felt bad for the toddler whos bottom was now exposed to the world, so I rushed to catch up to Momma Speed Walker and as I closed in the mother turned to yell at her child for going too slow. She looked at the little girl in disgust and loudly demanded for her to pull up her pants, as if it were the child’s fault that her mother put her in pants that were two sizes too small and wouldn’t stay up.

After giving her a look that singed her soul I made sure to comment about her parenting.

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05.05.

Edward 40-Hands

I decided to go into my local Wal-Mart last night to grab a few items around 11:30. Surprisingly, I only saw one powermullet, and was quite sad that I didn’t catch any humorous displays as I usually do, until I got to the checkout line. Of course, only two lanes were open, but I got lucky and ended up behind two people. The first person had a buggy full, but the second guy had three 40 ounce beers. In my town, it is against the law to sell an alcoholic beverage after midnight, so when the guy finally got to the counter, he was quite dismayed to hear that he couldn’t purchase his beers because it was now 12:02.

“BUT I’VE BEEN WAITING IN LINE FOR 10 MINUTES!” he yelled at the obviously grumpy young “lady” at the register. Another customer piped in and told him just to drive over the bridge that separates our town from our “sister” city which does sell after midnight. This just made the hostile drunk even more hostile. “NO, I want my beer, NOW!”┬áHe finally accepted the fact that the register would not allow the girl to even ring the beer up and stumbled/stomped towards the doors.

I ended up, as unlucky and unbelievable as it sounds, being parked right next to this drunk. By the time I got to my car, a good 5 minutes after he walked out, he was trying frantically to unlock his car. He couldn’t get the key into the hole for the life of him. Finally, though, he succeded and almost belly flopped into the driver’s seat. I watched in horror (and slight amusement) as he, I assume, attempted to put his car in reverse, but instead put it in drive, and went through the bars of the shopping cart return and snowplowed about 20 carts. I’d never seen a shopping cart fly until last night.

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12.06.

Grab Ass

There I was standing in line (suprise suprise) at wally world in Apache Juncton, Arizona. At the time I was bartending at the establishment across the street, but stopped by to purchase some cigs on my break. All of the sudden I feel a sharp sting on my ass, somebody had slapped it really hard. At first I figured it had to be someone I know messing with me, but as I turned around to investigate, to my dismay, no familiar faces to be seen. I did however notice a short, fat, balding little weasel quickly walking away but still loking at me and smirking. I was pissed!!! I marched straight over and told him how dare he touch me, and demanded to know just who he thought he was.

His response blew me away. he said, “All you bitches are the same, you walk around flaunting your stuff then get mad when us guys give you any attention.”

Let me just take a second and explain to you fine people how I was “flaunting” it. As I stated before I was on break from work, wearing black pants, a black regular t-shirt w/ company logo, and a black hoodie sweatshirt. The only skin I had showing was my hands and face. Apparently that was enough to get this perv off.

I lost it, I told him to f*ck off among other things. By this time quite the crowd had gathered around us, and the dude became increasingly aggitated with me to the point of threatening physical violence. Finally a nice man stepped in and told the perv he had no right to speak to a lady like that. Now the perv and good samaritan started going at it. I stood in disbelief as it now turned into a full on fist fight!

My knight in shining armor got in the last punch before security finally came over and broke up the fight. When the cops finally came, they were asking me how this all got started. After I explained and they were taking the perv away, he yelled that he wanted to press charges against me. The cops started laughing and one of them said, “Don’t worry buddy, we are gonna book her for indecent exposure.”

Only at Walmart…

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03.10.

Bonding Time

I was shopping with my girlfriend and had to piss. I go into the bathroom and start pissing in one of the urinals. A dude was in the stall next to me. He was shitting. Very loudly. While he shat, he laughed hysterically and yelled:

Dude: “You like that, Garret? AHAHAHA!!! You like it?!!!”

Kids voice: “Yeah, daddy! More!”

Dude: “Here it comes…”

*FAAART*

Kid: “HAHAHA!!! MORE!”

*SHIT PLOPPING IN WATER*

After I finished peeing, I backed up to see under the stall and saw the legs of a man sitting on the toilet and the feet of a child standing, facing the man. I guess it’s a game they play?

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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