I decided to go into my local Wal-Mart last night to grab a few items around 11:30. Surprisingly, I only saw one powermullet, and was quite sad that I didn’t catch any humorous displays as I usually do, until I got to the checkout line. Of course, only two lanes were open, but I got lucky and ended up behind two people. The first person had a buggy full, but the second guy had three 40 ounce beers. In my town, it is against the law to sell an alcoholic beverage after midnight, so when the guy finally got to the counter, he was quite dismayed to hear that he couldn’t purchase his beers because it was now 12:02.
“BUT I’VE BEEN WAITING IN LINE FOR 10 MINUTES!” he yelled at the obviously grumpy young “lady” at the register. Another customer piped in and told him just to drive over the bridge that separates our town from our “sister” city which does sell after midnight. This just made the hostile drunk even more hostile. “NO, I want my beer, NOW!” He finally accepted the fact that the register would not allow the girl to even ring the beer up and stumbled/stomped towards the doors.
I ended up, as unlucky and unbelievable as it sounds, being parked right next to this drunk. By the time I got to my car, a good 5 minutes after he walked out, he was trying frantically to unlock his car. He couldn’t get the key into the hole for the life of him. Finally, though, he succeded and almost belly flopped into the driver’s seat. I watched in horror (and slight amusement) as he, I assume, attempted to put his car in reverse, but instead put it in drive, and went through the bars of the shopping cart return and snowplowed about 20 carts. I’d never seen a shopping cart fly until last night.
I was shopping with my girlfriend and had to piss. I go into the bathroom and start pissing in one of the urinals. A dude was in the stall next to me. He was shitting. Very loudly. While he shat, he laughed hysterically and yelled:
Dude: “You like that, Garret? AHAHAHA!!! You like it?!!!”
Kids voice: “Yeah, daddy! More!”
Dude: “Here it comes…”
Kid: “HAHAHA!!! MORE!”
*SHIT PLOPPING IN WATER*
After I finished peeing, I backed up to see under the stall and saw the legs of a man sitting on the toilet and the feet of a child standing, facing the man. I guess it’s a game they play?
My brother had a lot of great stories he would share with us about some of the stuff he would witness at Walmart while working there as a teen. One of these stories involved three elderly people who would regularly sit at the bench in front of the cash registers and make fun of customers who were checking out. My brother said that it was quite embarrasing because they were not discreet about it at all (I guess they had hearing difficulty). For instance, one time he was checking out a rather large customer and her rather large young son when one of them yells out to the other “Look at that fat kid and his fat mother.” My brother said they went on and on about how fat they were, and how much junk food they must eat, even going as far as to scrutinize all of their purchases. The lady just kept getting redder and redder. My brother couldn’t look her in the eye during the whole purchase. A few weeks after that incident my brother realized that his three regular “critiques” weren’t around anymore. He later found out that same day by his manager that they had been sneaking out of the local nursing home home each morning and hanging out at Walmart until finally one of their caretakers found out.
I have seen some pretty sick stuff since I started working for Walmart, but last night took the cake. I work at a Walmart in a college town and during the summer months we always have girls coming in to do late night shopping in their bikinis. Last night an older gentleman came into the story and was wandering around the men’s clothing. This guy was watching everyone in the area pretty closely, and when the coast was clear, he moved into the middle of one of the shirt racks. This guy wasnt very tall and was able to easily squat down under the rack. One of the ladies in the area called me over the walkie and asked that I come over to the area to see what was going on. As I walked over to the shirt rack I noticed 3 very cute girls in bikinis in the womens area looking at underwear, and I heard a moaning sound coming from the rack. I ran away from the shirt rack and had one of the associates call the police. The police arrived at the store pretty quickly and apprehended the guy as he was finishing his business.