I’m 17, and I’m working at the front registers. I have a huge line, probably a dozen or so people. It’s business as usual until this one lady comes up to me. She a typical Walmart shopper: power mullet, Looney Tunes t-shirt, ratty sweatpants. After saying hello, she lays her crazy right out on the register:
Crazy Lady: “Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?”
Crazy Lady: “I have, and I’ve given up my sinful nature!”
Me: “Good for you…”
Crazy Lady: “Yep! I’ve given up drinking, smoking, MASTURBATION!!”
Other People in My Line: *Crickets*
She said some other stuff after that, but she lost me at masturbation. The rest of the time was spent trying not to barf.