One-Two Punch

Last week my boyfriend and I were waiting in the checkout line at Wally World. As I was digging through my purse I heard him grunt in pain and yell. When I turned around all I managed to see was a gap-toothed, trucker hat wearing, hillbilly screaming at my boyfriend while a 13 or 14-year-old boy hid behind dad and cried.

My boyfriend later told me that while standing in line he’d felt two sharp blows to his kidneys. He turned around and saw the kid’s flailing arms coming back, right for his crotch. He yelled “HEY,” which scared the crap out of the kid (hence the crying). The dad hadn’t seen what happened, so he started yelling at my boyfriend for scaring his kid.

The only reason this didn’t turn into a fight? A separate redneck suddenly appeared and started screaming at our cashier, which caught our attention. He was upset that the lines were so long. He started ranting about how unfair it was that a hard-working family man like himself had to wait in line while THOSE KINDS OF PEOPLE were taken care of. I believe he used the words “spics” and “coons.”

Did I mention there were five black teenagers in front of us in line? Yeah, the cops came.

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