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05.27.

By The Pound

During Thanksgiving there is a coffee company that makes pumpkin-flavored coffee as a limited edition item and they get snatched up in our little town pretty fast. Seeing as Walmart always seems to have what we need, we ran in one night after a movie. My friend decided she was more broke than I and would buy the coffee in bulk and I grabbed a prepackaged bag for myself. After we went through the line we compared our receipts and realized mine was much cheaper for the amount of beans I got. We both stood there and turned around to see the rather large cashier check the next person out and noticed that her flap of belly fat had nowhere else to go but the produce scale in front of her. She had actually weighed her own stomach while weighing my friend’s small bag of coffee beans! I wanted her to go to customer service and tell them what happened, but she thought it would be too cruel.

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04.14.

Sopping Up The Alcohol

I was doing some grocery shopping recently at my local Wal-Mart. A friend of mine, who is an employee there, stopped me and said “You’ve got to come and see this!” I followed him to the paper towel/toilet paper aisle, where there was a small crowd gathered, and pointed to the racks and said “Look behind the paper towels.” I looked, and what I saw was hilarious. A man, probably around 50 years old, was laying on a row of Bounty paper towels, sleeping. Next to him were several empty Busch Light cans and two bags of Cooler Ranch Doritos. My friend informed me that the police were on their way and that they hadn’t known how long the man had been there. When the police arrived, they made everyone back away so that they could extract sleeping beauty from his quicker-picker-upper mattress. When they pulled the man out, he was obviously intoxicated, and the police proceeded to ask him what he was doing. He answered them honestly, stating “Well, officer, I was gonna lay in there until closing time and I was gonna steal me a couple T.V.’s.” The police officer said in response “Sir, this is a 24-hour establishment. They don’t close..” The man said, “Well, no shit?”

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01.27.

The Lost Child

I used to work customer service desk at Wal Mart and I have had my share of horror. The customer service desk often receives lost items found in the store but one day a customer brought us a screaming lost little boy. We were able to get his mom’s name and we paged her to come retrieve him. Meanwhile this boy is still screaming his head off. After no one came for several minutes, we started to page every minute or so for about fifteen minutes. This kid does not stop yelling the entire time. Eventually the mother comes by customer service yelling at us for paging her so much. She had decided that she was going to finish her shopping and check out before she picked up her kid. She yelled some angry words at us as she was leaving. Some people shouldn’t have kids.

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12.28.

Merry Christmas Eve, Eh?

BATAVIA, N.Y. — A woman is spending her Christmas in jail, accused of punching a Walmart greeter as she left the store here Christmas Eve.

Batavia resident Jacquetta Simmons, 26, was charged with two counts of second-degree assault, State Police Trooper Tracy Patterson said. She faces a second count because the victim, Grace Suozzi, 70, is older than 65.

Patterson said Simmons is accused of punching and knocking down Suozzi at 11:23 a.m. after the employee asked Simmons to see receipts for items the customer was carrying in store bags. After hitting Suozzi, Simmons ran out of the store, but employees and customers quickly surrounded her until police arrived.

Suozzi suffered fractures to the left side of her face and significant swelling, Patterson said.

Simmons on Sunday was being held in Genesee County Jail in lieu of $20,000 bail.

Patterson said Simmons had receipts for everything in her bags.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire.

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