I used to work customer service desk at Wal Mart and I have had my share of horror. The customer service desk often receives lost items found in the store but one day a customer brought us a screaming lost little boy. We were able to get his mom’s name and we paged her to come retrieve him. Meanwhile this boy is still screaming his head off. After no one came for several minutes, we started to page every minute or so for about fifteen minutes. This kid does not stop yelling the entire time. Eventually the mother comes by customer service yelling at us for paging her so much. She had decided that she was going to finish her shopping and check out before she picked up her kid. She yelled some angry words at us as she was leaving. Some people shouldn’t have kids.
I am an Electronics employee at Walmart and one evening I was called up to the service desk to check out a camera that was being returned. Our policy on this particular camera was “Sold as is. No refunds unless unopened or defective”.
The customers returning the camera were three young men with European accents. They had purchased the camera almost two weeks earlier and it had finger prints all over the the screens from use. While I was checking the camera out, my coworker and I listened to them talk on their cellphones about how they were on vacation in the states and would be leaving from LAX the next evening. They mentioned that they took a road trip up the coast to the Canadian Border and back and took “some neat pictures of the ocean”.
After the customer hung up his cellphone, I asked him why he was returning the camera and he said, “I just don’t need it anymore. It works fine.” I told him we could not take back the camera because it had been used and was in fine working order. He changed his story and said he had never used it. He asked his buddies to back him up, and they did.
We called our Assistant Manager over to check it out and we could not find any proof that they had in fact used the camera. They insisted that the finger prints were from me.
Just when it looked like they were going to get their way, I instantly remembered that although there was no memory card in the camera, there was a space on the internal memory to save pictures. The customer was demanding corporates number, saying he did not use the camera at all and that we (the employees) framed him and “Americans are rude.” In the middle of this I brought up the internal memory and there was a picture of him and his three buddies, clearly in a car in the dark, cheesin’ for the camera, among others.
Me: “And what is this?”
Assistant Manager: “Certainly you aren’t accusing my employees of walking out to your car with you and taking a picture of you and your friends, are you? And theres snow in the background. Did my employees manage to make it snow here in Los Angeles, too?”
Customer: “I don’t know how that got there. You did it…. how did you do it? I dislike America, very much. F*** You.”
He and his buddies grabbed the camera and took off.
In my younger days, I worked for a while at Walmart. Yeah, Good ole Wally World.
Well one day, we had a shortage of floor associates and I was sent to work in the dressing rooms answering phones, to give that associate a break. The garden shop called and asked that I please send a manager . I relayed the message. Minutes ticked by. No manager responded. They called again and “a little more emphatically “asked me again, to send a manager. I called out on the walkie-talkies. The garden shop called again. This time, the clerk was pretty agitated. “Tell them it is a LIFE OR DEATH MATTER!”
I tried to discreetly relay this message, but still no response! The garden shop called again and said “Tell the manager that there’s a DEAD MAN in the paper recycle dumpster!” So, me ,with 5 minutes training on procedure, spoke very confidently into the walkie-talkie, “We need a manager to the garden shop RIGHT NOW, there’s a dead body in the dumpster!!”
All of a sudden, there was this “whoosh” of air, as everyone within earshot of a walkie-talkie must have heard me. Everyone in the whole store took off for the garden shop, including me. If it had been a ship, it would have capsized!
We all spilled out onto the sidewalk, as two of Wally Worlds finest manager trainees went over to the bin and gingerly threw up the lid and RAN! The lid slammed back down with a great big bang. This caused the crowd to jump in the air!
All of a sudden, the lid started rising and out came the face of an old man.He crawled out and started cussing and raising up a storm. Accusing us all of interrupting his “beauty rest”. He claimed to be Sam Walton’s nephew and we were all going to be looking for new jobs!
A big sigh of relief went through the crowd and we all meandered back to our jobs, laughing about it all. We were just glad he wasn’t dead.
Later, when I was in a discussion with the head manager, he explained to me the codes and how they were to be called. I explained that I knew there were codes for lost children, tornadoes, fires, and other emergencies, but I had yet to see one that covered dead bodies in the dumpster!
I’ve had the displeasure of working as a mechanic for the Wal-Mart Tire and Lube Express (TLE) attached to our local Wal-Mart for about a year now. Yesterday, this 40-something year old lady came in driving a 2009 Nissan Altima, beautiful car, very nice, 32k miles, pretty much brand new. Trouble is, I heard the engine knocking the second it pulled up, and I was in the bathroom in the lobby. She gets out and gives me a huge ditzy grin and says “I think I may need an oil change.” It takes me a second to process that statement as I sit in awe listening to the poor motor knock, tick, scrape, rattle, and make every noise a motor shouldn’t make. I checked her oil level, and the dipstick was bone dry, save for a few jet black, crumbled bits of burned up, dirty, ancient oil, and more metal flakes than an Ozzy concert. I looked in the cab and clear as day, the NO OIL PRESSURE light was on, the grim little red oil can that serves as a suicide note for an engine. I asked her how long it had been since she had had an oil change, still trying to process how such a new and supposedly reliable car was so desperately trying to commit hara-kiri.To my shock and awe, the lady says “Oh, I’ve never had the oil changed. I bought the car new a few months ago and the change oil light didn’t come on until just now.” I stared at her and asked her if she meant the little red oil can of death. She giggled and replied “Yeah that’s it, isn’t it amazing that they can tell you when to change your oil now?” When I informed her that that light means no oil pressure she just shrugged it off, saying that it was no big deal. Right on cue, there is a snap and a pop and the motor dies in a horrible, metal rending schreech. Long story short, me and the customer went back at forth, her screaming at me for accusing her of being incompetent, me trying to explain in layman’s terms why her car is dead and how it’s all her fault while wearing my best customer service smile, and it finally ended with her calling me a rotten bastard for making her feel stupid and that I should rot in hell. My reply? “Look, lady, this ISN’T rocket science. Your engine NEEDS oil or this is exactly what happens. It’s YOUR responsibility to maintain your vehicle, and to know and understand what each light means, and if you’re too much of a pretentious c*nt to figure that out, you REALLY have no business on the road, much less buying a brand new car.” I got a verbal warning, my manager was too busy laughing to fill out any written forms.
People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire.