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01.20.

Panty Raid!

I worked as a sales associate in ladies apparel for Walmart in summer of 2003. The average, everyday customers generally came and went before 9 PM. Those who strolled in after 10 PM were often more, um, colorful.

The Walmart where I worked was a 24 hour store. The fitting room doors were locked between 9 PM and 7 AM to make stealing more difficult. I was on the sales floor one night about 10:30, trying to do some last minute straightening before my shift ended at 11. I heard some loud bantering coming from the fitting room area. I eased around to spot two women complaining about the doors being locked. They kept yanking the handles, arms draped with clothing.

Both of the women were – full figured. I momentarily admired the fact they were confident enough to be wearing skimpish attire. But then, the bigger one of them crouched to the floor. She put her chest down and backside up, and tried to squeeze underneath the fitting room door.

She got stuck, partially through, and was wriggling around, trying to get unstuck. She started hollering. Her rear was in the air, and her skirt rode up. She was wearing no underpants.

HECK NO was I trying to break that up! I spotted an assistant manager strolling by, and I flagged him down, and pointed toward the fitting rooms. He was this man I wouldn’t have pegged for older than 22 years old. His face turned about 5 shades of red and he looked extremely humiliated and like he’d just as soon die than stop the woman. Pantyless Wonder finally managed finally to remove herself out from underneath the door. She and her friend dropped the clothes in the floor and ran off.

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08.13.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

When I was pregnant, I decided to go to Walmart at 2 a.m. to get cleaning supplies since I was going crazy wanting to clean. Well most know that a pregnant woman has a super tiny bladder (at least it feels that way). So I ran to the bathroom, and as soon as I walked in I heard this little kid saying “Eww momma that’s stinky. Why your poopies stink so bad?” I had to bite my lip because I was about to die laughing. I did my business and this kid is still complaining about how bad her mom’s poo stinks (she sounded 3 or 4).  As I’m washing my hands, they came out the bathroom and the mother was super red from what seemed like embarassment. This kid was still going on about how her poo stinks. Later as I’m in the check out line, they are two ahead of me. The little girl stands up in the cart and tells the check out girl “It’s okay, my mommy got all the stinkys out.”

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07.08.

In The News: The ‘Bomb’ Scare

A 30-year-old man with a backpack filled with sex toys and lubricants caused a bomb scare at an Aurora Wal-Mart Wednesday.

The bomb squad was called to the parking lot of the Wal-Mart at 3301 N. Tower Road around 6:15 p.m. after a man wearing a backpack acted suspicious when the woman he was with was caught shoplifting, said Cassidee Carlson, Aurora police spokeswoman.

“Police contacted him in the parking lot after security looked in the backpack and saw some liquids and piping,” she said.

Something in the backpack got a “hit” from a bomb-sniffing dog, so the bomb squad was called in, she said.

“There was no bomb, only sex toys,” she said. “The man had active warrants, so he was arrested, anyway.”

The woman the suspect was with was issued a summons for shoplifting and released, police said.

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03.18.

The Girl Scout Bandit

TAYLORSVILLE — Police are looking for a thief who walked up to a group of Girl Scouts selling cookies outside a Taylorsville store and made off with their money.

Investigators say members of Troop 2532 were selling cookies at a stand outside a Walmart store when a man in his 20s approached them late Saturday afternoon.

Lt. Justin Hoyal of the Unified Police Department says the man acted as if he was going to buy some cookies, then reached across the table for the cash box and ran away with it.

The man fled in an older model silver 4-door sedan driven by a woman.

The amount of money stolen wasn’t disclosed but police say it represented all the cash proceeds from a day of selling more than 1,000 boxes.

The money was targeted to help the homeless and pay for Girl Scout camp.

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People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire.

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