Stories

01.27.

The Lost Child

I used to work customer service desk at Wal Mart and I have had my share of horror. The customer service desk often receives lost items found in the store but one day a customer brought us a screaming lost little boy. We were able to get his mom’s name and we paged her to come retrieve him. Meanwhile this boy is still screaming his head off. After no one came for several minutes, we started to page every minute or so for about fifteen minutes. This kid does not stop yelling the entire time. Eventually the mother comes by customer service yelling at us for paging her so much. She had decided that she was going to finish her shopping and check out before she picked up her kid. She yelled some angry words at us as she was leaving. Some people shouldn’t have kids.

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04.02.

Lettuce Check For Stool

I was wandering toward the produce when I experienced a typical Walmart moment. The customer I spotted looked like so many others that I have seen on this site. She was probably in her mid-to-late 50s, and she gave off that obvious vibe of someone whose primary residence sits on cinder blocks or wheels. Modified power-mullet? Check. Tank top with no bra? Check. Shorts and flip-flops even though it was a frosty 37 degrees outside? Check and check. And what was she doing? Why, she was using the shopping cart as a makeshift platform on which to change a toddler’s dirty diaper. She has yet to see me, which partially explains what happened next. After dropping the used diaper/naps bundle to the floor and kicking it aside, she then looked at her hand, noticed what had to have been some sort of poopy residue, reached over into the produce bin, and started to wipe her hand on a large head of lettuce.

Now I’m normally pretty non-confrontational, but after seeing this, I just blurted out “Oh come on! What are you, an animal!?” She turned to look at me, and for a split-second I saw it in her eyes: she knew that she had really crossed over a line, and she also knew that she had been stone-cold busted. But like I said, this look only lasted for a second. Her face then reverted to normal, and she told me to go fuck myself.

Ah yes, the classic rhetorical escalation uttered in countless WalMart arguments. She started to push her cart toward the front of the store, so I called out “I’m going to find a manager and tell him what you did!” Her reply? “I didn’t do anything [whips out cellphone], and I’m going to call the cops!” So that’s how the argument ended, both of us threatening to tell on each other.

A Walmart associate then came out of the receiving area, so I told her what had happened and, to her credit, she bagged up 2 or 3 heads of lettuce along with the diaper.

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01.31.

Pitfalls In Parenting

My friend and I were walking into a Walmart not long ago when we noticed what seemed to be a little girl, 3 years old or so, digging in the back of her pants. As we got closer we realized that she was not digging in her pants, she was trying to pull them up as her speed walking mother pulled her along by her other arm. I felt bad for the toddler whos bottom was now exposed to the world, so I rushed to catch up to Momma Speed Walker and as I closed in the mother turned to yell at her child for going too slow. She looked at the little girl in disgust and loudly demanded for her to pull up her pants, as if it were the child’s fault that her mother put her in pants that were two sizes too small and wouldn’t stay up.

After giving her a look that singed her soul I made sure to comment about her parenting.

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03.31.

Walmart Bumper Cars

My son and I were walking back to our car which was parked way out near the street when we heard a squealing of tires and a crash. We looked over into the next row of parked cars to see a woman in a midsize green car pushing a parked car as she turned left. She pushed the parked car into the next 3 cars in that row crashing them all together like dominoes. Then she moved to the cars parked across the aisle and hit one of those pushing it into another 5 cars before she finally stopped. Making a total of 10 wrecked cars from one crazy WalMart driver (11 if you count hers). I grabbed my seven year old and ran away from the area. In case she started going again I didn’t want my son to be injured.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire.

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