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03.21.

In The News: I Like Feet

LINCOLNTON, N.C. (AP) – Police say a man in North Carolina sucked a woman’s toes at a Wal-Mart after he convinced her he was a podiatry student and persuaded her to take off her shoes.

Detective Dennis Harris said the woman agreed to try on several pairs of shoes at the discount store in Lincolnton, and that at some point during the process, the man stuck her foot in his mouth. Harris said the man apparently tried the same thing at another Wal-Mart 15 miles away, where he told a woman he was conducting a survey on the feet of different races and nationalities.

The second woman also agreed to take off her shoes, but left when the suspect asked her to remove her socks.

Both confrontations happened Monday. Police are looking for the man.

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08.30.

Brown Bomb Disposal

Back in 2005 a friend and myself decided to go grab some food at a local shopping complex that just happened to have a Walmart in it. We ordered our food and since there was a line it would take about 15 minutes. We decided to go check out the video games at the Walmart to pass the time.

We were cutting through the toy section to get to the video games we noticed two long brown steaks that looked like someone ran a cart through something. Already we both feared the worst as this was Walmart. Upon following the trail we found two shit filled diapers, the first mashed into oblivion on the floor with shit smeared all over the aisle and the second stuffed behind some toys on the shelf. The shelf bomb had the poo coming out the sides and the toys it was hidden behind clearly had adult shit-fingerprints on them. Both me and my buddy let out a long disgusted “ewwwww” before we started to dry heave.

Both my friend and I started to laugh at the vile display we saw and on our way out told one of the managers of our discovery. The manager looked at me blankly and after a pause said she would have someone take care of it. As we left the store we saw a gargantuan (female?) and her husband walking out with two shopping carts filled with junk and food and two (about) 5 year old boys coming out. My buddy pointed at there cart and started laughing as we both saw the shit from the aisle all over the part of the cart where the kids were…the father also seemed to notice he had some on his shoes, he proceeded to wipe it off on someones brand new Mini-cooper as he walked by it and continue on his way.

My friend and I got our food and after about half an hour of trying to eat we decided we really weren’t that hungry anymore. Curiosity got the better of us and we decided to venture back into the Walmart to see if the brown bombs had been taken care of….low and behold they had not…45 minutes later and the manager and employees had seen fit to let the excrement fester on the floor. How wonderful.

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08.03.

Lane 13

So me and my son stopped at Walmart one afternoon to pick up a few items. It was a late hour, so you would think that it would not be as busy as the day. We had gathered our items and proceeded to the checkout line. Of course, they were all backed up. Over the intercom came a voice saying lane 13 would be opening, so we started towards that lane. Unloaded our stuff on to the belt and waited. And waited. And waited some more. After 10 minutes I asked the cashier if they were ever going open this lane, and she told me that sometimes they never get to what the intercom says. Now that I am irritated, I started to pile the items back in the cart and proceeded to another check out lane. Of course, still backed up. While waiting to be checked out in another lane, lane 13 finally opens, so me and my three year old son headed for that lane again when a small Asian lady pushed my son to the ground and shoved my cart aside to beat me to the checkout. Even after seeing this, the cashier did nothing but say, “First come, first serve.” My son was in tears laying on the ground! And the manager in charge, same thing.

Needless to say, another lane down a couple of off duty police officers saw the whole incident and asked the manager to check me out personally then have the loss prevention officer of the store pull the video footage of the scene. The Asian lady was charged child endangerment, along with finding a gram of crack in her coat pocket and the cashier was fired on the spot. During this whold stint, loss prevention said that 15 customer walked out after seeing this display!

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08.22.

In The News: The Licker

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MAYFIELD, KY – A Mayfield man has been arrested on harassment charges after a couple of weekend incidents at a local store.

According to Mayfield Police, 19-year-old Cody Sullivan went into the Mayfield Walmart on Saturday and tried to grab the face of a female juvenile. The girl ducked out of the way and was able to avoid him.

Sullivan then came up behind an adult female. He turned her around and attempted to kiss her but missed and licked her cheek. Police said Sullivan then left the store on foot and left the area.

Officers said Sullivan had been banned from the store for a recent shoplifting incident. Sullivan was arrested Wednesday and charged with probation violation, criminal trespassing, harassment and harassment with physical contact. He was lodged in the Graves County Jail.

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People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire.

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