Stories

07.12.

Family Matters

One day, back in my college days in the 80’s, I worked as a cashier in the local Wal-Mart. I haven’t seen my natural father for at least 12 years at that point… was a nasty split between my mom and dad and I had no clue he lived in the town I went to college in.

I checked out the lady and she wrote a check… It had both HIS and HER Full names on the check. I looked up and asked her was Mr. ______ born on Valentine’s day in 1948. She snapped back… Yes he was… what’s it to you? She began to berate me for being so nosy and my favorite manager came over to investigate what was going on. I looked at the Manager and said I asked her if her husband Mr. ______ was born on valentines day in 1948 and she thinks I’m being nosy and wants to know what’s it to me.

I was trying to be gentle and kind about it, but she was being quite a witch about it… so I just looked her dead in the eye and said “Oh nothing much, that’s my dad… I haven’t seen him in years… so I guess that makes you my step mom.”

All the color went from her face and I thought she was going to hit the floor.

I have since made peace with Dad and Step-Momster (actually she was exactly what he needed to straighten him out and I’m glad he found her) now I when I go visit I visit with her more than him.

One time when she was in the hospital her sister asked her how she got such a caring son… she always answers… “I picked him up at Wal-Mart”.

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02.24.

Watch Your Children

I was grocery shopping with my daughter & grandma at my local Walmart. My daughter was barely two at the time so she sat in the cart. I was going through the aisles when my grandma realized she forgot something so she left the aisle I was in. I went to grab something off the shelf (while taking my hands off the cart for a split second) when all of a sudden some guy grabbed my shoulder. In the creepiest voice imaginable he proceeded to tell me to keep close eye on my daughter because his was kidnapped that very same day. In complete shock all I could fathom was “I’m sorry” and tried to hurriedly get away from him. He then said he’d help “keep an eye out for me” and followed me the next two aisles. Once my grandma returned I whispered to her to get out of here, don’t ask any questions. I grabbed my daughter and left the cart full of stuff. I told my grandma the story in the car (she’s very naive) and she said “Maybe he was just warning you,” but I told her why would a guy who’s daughter was just kidnapped be trolling the aisles of Walmart?

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04.09.

Dog Food!!!

One Walmart experience among many – I am trying to get to the dog food aisle with my cart to grab a 40 lb. bag. Of course there is a giant pillar in the middle of the aisle and pallets of food are strategically stacked to make one’s shopping experience the “total Walmart package.” The “Round Family” barrels towards me. Pa, in his overalls with no shirt on underneath and more hair on his back than Cousin It, leads his brood past me 3 abreast shoving me into into the dog food racks. I SARCASTICALLY say, “Excuse me!” Ma turns to me and grunts at me while whackin’ at little Cletus, and says, “No problem.” I respond, “You clearly don’t get sarcasm, do you?” She says, “You’ll have to ask someone who works here where that is.”

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12.06.

Grab Ass

There I was standing in line (suprise suprise) at wally world in Apache Juncton, Arizona. At the time I was bartending at the establishment across the street, but stopped by to purchase some cigs on my break. All of the sudden I feel a sharp sting on my ass, somebody had slapped it really hard. At first I figured it had to be someone I know messing with me, but as I turned around to investigate, to my dismay, no familiar faces to be seen. I did however notice a short, fat, balding little weasel quickly walking away but still loking at me and smirking. I was pissed!!! I marched straight over and told him how dare he touch me, and demanded to know just who he thought he was.

His response blew me away. he said, “All you bitches are the same, you walk around flaunting your stuff then get mad when us guys give you any attention.”

Let me just take a second and explain to you fine people how I was “flaunting” it. As I stated before I was on break from work, wearing black pants, a black regular t-shirt w/ company logo, and a black hoodie sweatshirt. The only skin I had showing was my hands and face. Apparently that was enough to get this perv off.

I lost it, I told him to f*ck off among other things. By this time quite the crowd had gathered around us, and the dude became increasingly aggitated with me to the point of threatening physical violence. Finally a nice man stepped in and told the perv he had no right to speak to a lady like that. Now the perv and good samaritan started going at it. I stood in disbelief as it now turned into a full on fist fight!

My knight in shining armor got in the last punch before security finally came over and broke up the fight. When the cops finally came, they were asking me how this all got started. After I explained and they were taking the perv away, he yelled that he wanted to press charges against me. The cops started laughing and one of them said, “Don’t worry buddy, we are gonna book her for indecent exposure.”

Only at Walmart…

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire.

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