The other day I was walking into Walmart to make a quick return. As I walked through the door, I notice the typical female Walcreature (badly permed mullet, NASCAR t-shirt that was ever so cleverly turned into a dingy, bra-showing NASCAR tank top) standing by a Redbox. This lady looked about 12 kinds of pissed off. I headed on down to customer service and I’m there for a total of about 15 minutes. I start to round the corner to the exit and there is crazy NASCAR lady still standing by the Redbox. A Walmart employee came over and asked crazy-pants “Can I help you?”
Crazy swung around and said “Yeah, you can tell me why this thing won’t take my f***in’ dollar! It’s a brand new one too and I’ve tried stickin’ in it every hole in the G.D. machine!”
The employee and I both had to take a 3-5 second, OMG is this bitch serious, brain stun. So crazy said, “Well? Whichin’ is it? Whichin’ is the dollar hole?” I busted out laughing but I did try to get out the door as quickly as I possibly could. As I was leaving, I heard the employee tell her it only takes credit & debit cards. Crazy lady got all indignant and started ranting & raving about it’s probably owned but them “terrist” anyway and if they think they are too good for her hard earned American dollars, they could all go f*** themselves. There was a crowd by then and everyone busted out laughing.
I was working the register after zero training, and the customer line was long and getting longer. I was receiving quite a few insults about how slow I was on the register, and reaching the end of my rope with the whole thing when a woman in line took pity on me.
“What would it take to shut down this register?” she said quietly.
“A real disaster” I replied.
She winked, and casually swept her arm around so it knocked a big glass jug of wine off the belt to shatter all over the floor. She apologized over and over to both me and the supervisor who ran up, and my register was shut down for safety reasons, much to the dismay of the line of customers, for whom I had no sympathy.
The best part was an old man in ratty jeans and a t-shirt filled with holes ran up, knelt down in the puddle of wine, and began running his fingers through it and licking the wine off his hands.
I quit 30 minutes later, when the supervisor told me I’d have to stay late to help with the leftover customers because since the wine had broken on my register, it was partially my fault.
I was monitoring the self checkout stands the other day at Walmart. This young man came up the the register and began scanning his items. He only had three. As I looked down at the monitor, the items go as follows: swimming goggles, KY jelly, and rubber gloves. I began to giggle trying to think of what he planned on doing with all of this. I guess I was laughing a little too loud because the young man heard me and began to turn several shades of red. As he left, he looked at me and said, “Want to join me?”
I was an associate for a few years and often stocked the pets department. A woman once asked me if Walmart sold life preservers for fish.