Your first move should be checking that backpack for a pair of underwear. If there are none in there, well you’re at a store that sells underwear. Problem solved. I would move on to pants but I don’t want to get too far ahead for you, and it seems like if there is more than one thing going on you get confused and lose concentration.
You look like you’re trying way too hard to get written into a Twilight book or something.
Well I suppose Comic book store employees grow old and retire too.
So she lives in Barbie’s Dream House, uses an Easy Bake Oven and drives around in her Power Wheel; You grew up, have a miserable job and pay taxes. Who’s the goofy one?