I was in the customer service line at a local Walmart. A very loud, saggy-skinned lady was at the counter attempting to talk the clerk into returning something. It turns out it was a big chunk of meat… no wrapper, no receipt, just a piece of meat in a non-Walmart grocery bag. She got tired of yelling at the clerk who denied her return and asked for the manager. A manager came over and he too said she couldn’t return the meat. She didn’t like this. So, she poked at his name tag and said “I asked for the MANAGER, you are an ASSISTANT Manager!” He said that he was a manager and that she was not going to return the meat. She made some comment about how he was so effeminate that she couldn’t tell whether he was male or female. Then came the best part… she swings the bag of meat and smacks the manager in the head with it! At that point an undercover security guard who was watching the whole ordeal rushed up to control her. She fell into the rug doctor display and proceeded to yell profanities and complain of arthritis and osteoporosis. She then whipped out her cell phone and called the police which were apparently on her speed dial. I’m guessing this wasn’t her first run around with the local law enforcement.
Alright buddy, lose the jeans underneath the capri pants, grab a pair of flip flops and head to the beach. You earned it.
I was shopping with my girlfriend and had to piss. I go into the bathroom and start pissing in one of the urinals. A dude was in the stall next to me. He was shitting. Very loudly. While he shat, he laughed hysterically and yelled:
Dude: “You like that, Garret? AHAHAHA!!! You like it?!!!”
Kids voice: “Yeah, daddy! More!”
Dude: “Here it comes…”
Kid: “HAHAHA!!! MORE!”
*SHIT PLOPPING IN WATER*
After I finished peeing, I backed up to see under the stall and saw the legs of a man sitting on the toilet and the feet of a child standing, facing the man. I guess it’s a game they play?
This was several years ago, when I went to Walmart with my mom. We were browsing through the clothes and I actually found a few things I wanted to try on. When I walked over to the fitting rooms in front of me there is another customer asking to use the ladies fitting room holding several bras. Now this person is rather obese, hair cut very short, and even has the lovely female mustache that we see all too often at Walmart. She asks to use the fitting room, the Walmart associate looks at her in shock and says: “Not in the ladies room your not, you have to go to the mens fitting room over there.” Well lets just say some tears were shed and a unhappy relative comes over and politely informs the clerk of her mistake. I was in complete shock and felt so bad for the woman!