I pulled into the local Wal-Mart over the weekend and saw something that I had to pass on. The Girl Scouts were out front selling cookies, approaching customers as they exited the store.
Two little girls, about 8 years old go bouncing up to this old woman in one of those electric scooter/shopping cart things. “Hi, we are with—-”
They are interrupted by the old woman shouting: “You two can go fuck yourselves!” The little girls and the parents were stunned into silence. The cranky old woman rolled off towards her car, not saying anything else.
I was sort of horrified but still choking back laughter as I strolled into the store.
You tattoo your bike logo on your head and look menacing, but when I do it all I hear is laughing from behind and people saying “Why the hell would you tattoo Vespa on the back of your head?!”
I had made a Walmart run at 10:30 pm, since it’s the only store still open and I was in desperate need of some staple items. While standing in line at the checkout, I overheard the conversation of three punk teenagers buying a new stereo. They were discussing noteworthy arrests among themselves and their friends, and one of them (very loudly) said, “Dude, that’s nothing! I got busted for having a shitload of cocaine in my car.” The girl with him laughed, apparently agreeing that his arrest was better, and then went back to complaining about how she had to go pick up her car from the impound lot because she got a third DUI. And this is something to be bragging about
Really? You look like you’re starting to transform into some sort of uninteresting Hulk.