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11.03.

No Cutting

I was with my sister at Walmart and the lines were painfully long. Everyone was waiting, but one lady on a motorized cart (who we saw several times at the store in passing) decided that she was in the right to cut ahead of EVERYONE in line, and started putting her items onto the conveyor belt for the self check-out.

Of course, everyone was royally pissed, and like most people, no one wanted to say a WORD about it except for the lady in front of us, and behind the line-cutter.

She started saying, “I’m sorry, but there’s a thing called a line. You have to wait like everyone else!”

The lady in the cart began to haul herself out of the cart (because she was quite a sizeable lady) and said “I had my stuff down on the conveyor belt first! Besides, my kids were here!” That’s when the 2 little ragamuffin kids that were looking at the candy bars in the aisle looked over, and ran to “help” their mother, by making kicking/punching motions, and faces at the lady.

The lady ahead of us calmy said, “I don’t care if they were here! They weren’t in front of me, and neither were you.” Then she looked at her children and said “Is that what your mommy taught you? To be rude to other people?”

By this time, a Wal-mart employee came and diffused the situation, and the line-cutter plus her 2 kids went to the back of the line as everyone applauded for the lady who stuck up for herself (and everyone else).

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02.08.

If I Can’t Have ‘Em, Then Nobody Can

I used to be a customer service manager at Walmart. There were a lot of people that would come in and use the electric carts and try to take off without paying for their stuff. Well there was one woman who took it to the next level by sitting on the stuff she was trying to steal. She was a large woman. When she went through the doors and the alarm went off, the door greeter stopped her and asked her to get up. She proceded to urinate on the items she had stashed under her butt.

She was arrested.

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08.24.

Parrots Are People Too

I was working for a summer at a Wal-Mart as a cashier. No one told me that this is the weirdest position to have. You are the one who interacts with the customers the most, and as a result you get to hear the weirdest sh**. One day, I was working a regular, boring morning shift, and a man comes through my till with a bag of parrot food. I said good morning, and he grunts in the usual way a customer does if they don’t particularly want to talk to me. So I just scan the parrot food, and it comes in (for a four pound bag) to be about thirteen dollars. He looks very shocked, and I’m expecting him to say something like “it said on the sign it was only…” but instead he just smiles at me (in a very creepy way) and this is how the following conversation went:

Man: Do you have a senior citizen discount…?

Me: Sorry, sir, we don’t.

Man: YOU DIDN’T LET ME FINISH! Do you have a senior citizen discount for parrots? I have a very old parrot.

Me: (stifling laughter) No, sir, I’m sorry. That’ll be thirteen dollars.

(Then man then proceeds to reach into his pocket and throw down a bunch of change and dollar bills. I stand there for a moment, and then he glares at me, expecting me to fish through all the money myself. I do so, wanting him out of the store sooner rather than later. He then stares at the remaining change on the conveyor belt.)

Me: Here’s your receipt, sir.

(The man, ignoring me, starts to collect the change on the conveyor belt.)

Man: I can’t believe you made me dump my pockets on here.

(I wasn’t sure what to say or do, so I just offered him his receipt again.)

Man: (picking up the bag, and smiling) Thank you. My life partner and I thank you.

(I’m pretty sure by life partner he meant his parrot, because as he said this, he pointed at the parrot on the bag. I never had another customer that scared me that much.)

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01.31.

Pitfalls In Parenting

My friend and I were walking into a Walmart not long ago when we noticed what seemed to be a little girl, 3 years old or so, digging in the back of her pants. As we got closer we realized that she was not digging in her pants, she was trying to pull them up as her speed walking mother pulled her along by her other arm. I felt bad for the toddler whos bottom was now exposed to the world, so I rushed to catch up to Momma Speed Walker and as I closed in the mother turned to yell at her child for going too slow. She looked at the little girl in disgust and loudly demanded for her to pull up her pants, as if it were the child’s fault that her mother put her in pants that were two sizes too small and wouldn’t stay up.

After giving her a look that singed her soul I made sure to comment about her parenting.

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Three Ring Focus

People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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