Stories

03.28.

You Guys Want Some Cookies?

I pulled into the local Wal-Mart over the weekend and saw something that I had to pass on. The Girl Scouts were out front selling cookies, approaching customers as they exited the store.

Two little girls, about 8 years old go bouncing up to this old woman in one of those electric scooter/shopping cart things. “Hi, we are with—-”

They are interrupted by the old woman shouting: “You two can go fuck yourselves!” The little girls and the parents were stunned into silence. The cranky old woman rolled off towards her car, not saying anything else.

I was sort of horrified but still choking back laughter as I strolled into the store.

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37 Comments Stories
05.27.

By The Pound

During Thanksgiving there is a coffee company that makes pumpkin-flavored coffee as a limited edition item and they get snatched up in our little town pretty fast. Seeing as Walmart always seems to have what we need, we ran in one night after a movie. My friend decided she was more broke than I and would buy the coffee in bulk and I grabbed a prepackaged bag for myself. After we went through the line we compared our receipts and realized mine was much cheaper for the amount of beans I got. We both stood there and turned around to see the rather large cashier check the next person out and noticed that her flap of belly fat had nowhere else to go but the produce scale in front of her. She had actually weighed her own stomach while weighing my friend’s small bag of coffee beans! I wanted her to go to customer service and tell them what happened, but she thought it would be too cruel.

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02.15.

The Valentine’s Day Walmart Wedding

BRUNSWICK COUNTY, NC (WECT) – A lot of people are used to hearing, “Cleanup on aisle three,” at stores like Walmart, but not usually, “Wedding in the layaway section!”

But one area couple decided to do just that — they tied the knot at their local Walmart Tuesday.

For Wayne and the new Susan Brandenburg, everyday low prices have led to happily ever after.

“She was a cashier at the time,” said Wayne. “I kept coming through and seeing her…my [former] wife died seven years ago, and I asked [Susan] out. For some reason, she said yes and it went from there.”

They wanted to share their special moment with all their friends, and they wanted to do something different.

“I love him and I’m going to stay with him for a long, long time…” said Susan.

The couple plans to take their honeymoon when the weather warms up.

They’re hoping to spend it in the mountains.

Story courtesy of WECT.

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25 Comments Funny  //  North Carolina  //  Stories
01.16.

Glazed Doughnuts

A couple years ago, while I worked for the Walmart Photo Lab, I received a multitude of highly inappropriate and, often, hilarious pictures. However, one photo will forever be burned into my retinas.

You know those toys for infants, the plastic rings that you stack around a plastic stick according to size? Yeah, those are great fun. However, replacing the plastic stick with an obscenely filthy penis and the plastic rings with glazed doughnuts? That……yeah… To say it was horrifying is somewhere beyond an understatement.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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