Stories

01.30.

The Little Fire Hose

My cousin and I were standing next in line for checkout and were noticing the family checking out in front of us. There was an older woman, her teenage daughter and who I’m thinking was the baby’s daddy with their somewhat “bouncy” little boy sitting in the cart checking out. We weren’t paying them much attention until we just happened to notice the little boy suddenly sticks his legs straight out and liquid started shooting out towards us and hit the very end of our cart.

We backed the cart up quickly and watched in horror as a rather large puddle accumulated on the floor in front of us. As we tried to alert the people in front of us of the situation they proceeded to check out and when they finally understood that their son/grandson just urinated on the floor they looked at it and left.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 9.5/10 (31 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +3 (from 9 votes)
12 Comments Funny  //  Stories
01.16.

Help!

4539

CITRUS HEIGHTS- A Walmart employee is hoping to reunite a child with the incredible book of rules that they wrote.

“Don’t get into other people’s business. Don’t call each other names. Clean up your messes. No eating other people’s food. One hundred eighteen is don’t keep saying please if someone says no. I like that,” said Raymond Flores as he reads off the kind of advice you might snatch up in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble.

“One hundred twelve is to try to make things fair,” reads Flores.

But these life lessons came to Walmart employee Flores at work, as he scanned the lot of his Citrus Heights store for empty carts.

“There really wasn’t much out there and I saw this book sitting in a parking spot, so I thought I’d pick it up and check it out,” said Flores.

After flipping through these little pages, Flores quickly realized he’d found something too special to be tossed.

“Rule number 154 was to protect this book,” he read.

Following the lead of the young author and Batman, one of his superhero idols, he wants to find the rightful owner.

“They put a lot of hard work into it. These rules mean a lot to them and probably to the parents, as well,” he said.

While it’s obvious the more trained hand of a parent wrote down several of the rules, page turning reveals words and wisdom penned by a little person.

“Ware (sic) your seatbelt.”

“Resicle (sic)”

“One of them is go to bed early if you have dance in the morning. That applies to more than just dance. If you have work, school, anything important; just prioritize,” Flores said.

“Put your shoes by the front door when you take them off,” he reads that line as he looks over at his own shoes piled by a doorway.

Other listed ‘rules’ to live by that appear to have come from a child, speak across years they’ve yet to live.

“Don’t leave your friends behind and no texting and driving at the same time,” Flores read.

The other reason’s he’s so interested in getting the book back to it’s author, is that it’s clear rule 158 was in progress when the book was lost.”

“I thought this was adorable. I just thought it was really nice and stuff. What kind of kid does this,” he said.

Flores can’t wait to find out.

He’s hoping this story reaches the book’s owner and it can be returned.

One the rules that might stand out the most: Don’t bite the dentist.

If you’re the author or connected to the child who is, Flores is asking you to email FOX40′s Sonseeahray Tonsall at [email protected]

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 9.5/10 (82 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +18 (from 22 votes)
2 Comments Funny  //  Stories
07.01.

Grand Theft Granny

While shopping at Wal-Mart during the worst shopping day of the year (Black Friday) almost 2 years ago, my wife and I were walking to the electronics to see if they had a few of the Xbox 360 games and SD memory cards that were on sale left to sell. I had decided to try and swim through the sea of Wal-Creatures (too many to count, I thought I was in a circus!) while leaving my wife in an area with less people (since we had our son with us and he was only 5 months old and we were unable to get a baby-sitter)when I finally get stuck and have to wait until some people clear out of the way.

This is when I notice that there is an old lady, probably in her late 70’s or early 80’s, wearing a rediculously large fur coat. Not entirely surprising, except for the fact that she had nothing in her cart. Not even a sale’s ad. Intrigued, I watch for a moment as she then begins to look around as though she was doing something suspicious, and I was rewarded a few moments later with a startling show.

She slowly pushed her cart out of the way and squeezed herself through the people until she reached a rather large woman’s cart full of clothes, toys, games, and a 32″ tv and start to walk off with it while the fat lady was arguing with a clerk about the price of some video game. I stood in utter amazement as the tiny, fur wearing gremlin made it probably 30 feet before the large ogre of a women realized that her cart was missing and thundered after the old lady! I watched the exchange of curses as the old lady said that it was HER cart to begin with and the fat lady was calling her “an old senile bitch”.

How the whole thing stopped, you wonder? The fat lady pulled out the largest pair of skivvies I had ever seen and said quite loudly “If this is your cart then why the f*@$ would you be buying these?!”
The old lady didn’t skip a beat with her response, said straight faced “They’re for my nephew who’s a drag queen.”

After hearing that, I busted out laughing and headed back to my wife.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 9.5/10 (53 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +12 (from 18 votes)
12 Comments Stories
11.03.

No Cutting

I was with my sister at Walmart and the lines were painfully long. Everyone was waiting, but one lady on a motorized cart (who we saw several times at the store in passing) decided that she was in the right to cut ahead of EVERYONE in line, and started putting her items onto the conveyor belt for the self check-out.

Of course, everyone was royally pissed, and like most people, no one wanted to say a WORD about it except for the lady in front of us, and behind the line-cutter.

She started saying, “I’m sorry, but there’s a thing called a line. You have to wait like everyone else!”

The lady in the cart began to haul herself out of the cart (because she was quite a sizeable lady) and said “I had my stuff down on the conveyor belt first! Besides, my kids were here!” That’s when the 2 little ragamuffin kids that were looking at the candy bars in the aisle looked over, and ran to “help” their mother, by making kicking/punching motions, and faces at the lady.

The lady ahead of us calmy said, “I don’t care if they were here! They weren’t in front of me, and neither were you.” Then she looked at her children and said “Is that what your mommy taught you? To be rude to other people?”

By this time, a Wal-mart employee came and diffused the situation, and the line-cutter plus her 2 kids went to the back of the line as everyone applauded for the lady who stuck up for herself (and everyone else).

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 9.5/10 (37 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +16 (from 22 votes)
28 Comments Stories
Three Ring Focus

People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

Three Ring Blogs