Stories

05.20.

You’re Not My Dad!

So I’m walking through Walmart behind this guy and his son. The kid has to be about 6 or 7 tops. We’re walking past the toys section when the kid asks his dad if they can stop and look. The dad informs him nicely that they don’t have time for toys today. The kid continues to ask and beg loudly and I can tell the dad is getting frustrated. He grabs the kids arm, telling him no, and begins yanking him away from the toy aisle.

As if on cue the kid begins screaming, “Who are you? You’re not my dad! Let me go!”

People are staring, confused, wondering if they should do something. The dad turns red and drags his kid out of Walmart with a bunch of concerned customers and employees watching.

My only question is, where in the hell did this kid learn something like that?

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6 Comments Stories
07.01.

Grand Theft Granny

While shopping at Wal-Mart during the worst shopping day of the year (Black Friday) almost 2 years ago, my wife and I were walking to the electronics to see if they had a few of the Xbox 360 games and SD memory cards that were on sale left to sell. I had decided to try and swim through the sea of Wal-Creatures (too many to count, I thought I was in a circus!) while leaving my wife in an area with less people (since we had our son with us and he was only 5 months old and we were unable to get a baby-sitter)when I finally get stuck and have to wait until some people clear out of the way.

This is when I notice that there is an old lady, probably in her late 70’s or early 80’s, wearing a rediculously large fur coat. Not entirely surprising, except for the fact that she had nothing in her cart. Not even a sale’s ad. Intrigued, I watch for a moment as she then begins to look around as though she was doing something suspicious, and I was rewarded a few moments later with a startling show.

She slowly pushed her cart out of the way and squeezed herself through the people until she reached a rather large woman’s cart full of clothes, toys, games, and a 32″ tv and start to walk off with it while the fat lady was arguing with a clerk about the price of some video game. I stood in utter amazement as the tiny, fur wearing gremlin made it probably 30 feet before the large ogre of a women realized that her cart was missing and thundered after the old lady! I watched the exchange of curses as the old lady said that it was HER cart to begin with and the fat lady was calling her “an old senile bitch”.

How the whole thing stopped, you wonder? The fat lady pulled out the largest pair of skivvies I had ever seen and said quite loudly “If this is your cart then why the f*@$ would you be buying these?!”
The old lady didn’t skip a beat with her response, said straight faced “They’re for my nephew who’s a drag queen.”

After hearing that, I busted out laughing and headed back to my wife.

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Rating: 9.5/10 (53 votes cast)
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12 Comments Stories
01.30.

The Little Fire Hose

My cousin and I were standing next in line for checkout and were noticing the family checking out in front of us. There was an older woman, her teenage daughter and who I’m thinking was the baby’s daddy with their somewhat “bouncy” little boy sitting in the cart checking out. We weren’t paying them much attention until we just happened to notice the little boy suddenly sticks his legs straight out and liquid started shooting out towards us and hit the very end of our cart.

We backed the cart up quickly and watched in horror as a rather large puddle accumulated on the floor in front of us. As we tried to alert the people in front of us of the situation they proceeded to check out and when they finally understood that their son/grandson just urinated on the floor they looked at it and left.

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Rating: 9.5/10 (30 votes cast)
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12 Comments Funny  //  Stories
03.11.

Happy Birthday Sprinkles!

On March 3, 2010, we were at Walmart ordering my daughter’s 18th birthday cake. The clerk took all the information. We decided that we wanted a gender neutral cake with no flowers or girly decorations, because my daughter wanted to share the cake with her friend since his birthday was 2 days after hers. While the clerk was verifying the details, the cake decorator came over and looked at the request. She said. ” Is this all you want on the cake?” I said, “Yes, just Happy 18th Birthday Taylor and Zach.” Then the decorator asked if we wanted sprinkles on the cake. My daughter said yes, because she didnt think that would be too girly. So the clerk wrote it on the order. On March 5th, I sent my husband to pick up the cake. He got it and was heading to the check out when he looked at the cake better and it read..”HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TAYLOR, ZACH AND SPRINKLES” He wondered who sprinkles was and if we had gotten a cat!!!! He returned to the cake counter and told them that the cake was wrong and they the attempted to remove “Sprinkles”, it left a big place in the icing that was very noticeable. The decorator then asked my husband if we wanted sprinkles on the cake to cover the place that they tried to fix. He told her that was what we wanted in the first place.

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Rating: 9.5/10 (33 votes cast)
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Rating: +21 (from 23 votes)

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1 Comment Stories
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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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