I am in the Army and sometimes would work security at a local Fayetteville bar. One night, after the bar closed, I went to Walmart to pick up some things for a BBQ that I was hosting the following. I was walking around and thought I heard someone watching porn. Being ever curious I found my way to the sound which was coming from the dressing rooms. I figured it was a couple of kids trying to do something exciting and laughed it off. After I had gathered my things, I noticed a crowd had gathered around the dressing room, including a few employees (I guess they didn’t want to just barge in). The door opens, and to my, and everyone else’s dismay, we see maw and paw meth-mouth come out, complete with cut-off jean shorts, Rebel Flag shirts, and mullets. The best part is, when they walk out, she looks at all the people and says, “What? Jealous?”

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