A couple years ago, while I worked for the Walmart Photo Lab, I received a multitude of highly inappropriate and, often, hilarious pictures. However, one photo will forever be burned into my retinas.
You know those toys for infants, the plastic rings that you stack around a plastic stick according to size? Yeah, those are great fun. However, replacing the plastic stick with an obscenely filthy penis and the plastic rings with glazed doughnuts? That……yeah… To say it was horrifying is somewhere beyond an understatement.
I have been a cashier at walmart for only a short time, when a young maybe about 15 year old girl walks up to the 20 items or less aisle with 4 items. one of those large cucumbers in shrink wrap and four boxes of condoms… I smile a completed the transaction in silence. At the end of the transaction the young girl processes to say, “This isnt what you think the cucumber is for my boyfriend.” I laughed until I cried.
So I’m walking through the Wally World parking lot towards my car and a woman up ahead catches my attention due to her loud conversation. As she approaches my direction, I assume she is talking on a blue tooth ear piece since she’s not holding a cellphone. As I pass her, I realize she is in fact talking on the phone. The phone just happens to be stuffed in her tank top. She had the phone on speakerphone and decided there were more economical ways to go hands free when talking on the phone. She continued talking to her chest as she walked into the store.
The other day I was walking into Walmart to make a quick return. As I walked through the door, I notice the typical female Walcreature (badly permed mullet, NASCAR t-shirt that was ever so cleverly turned into a dingy, bra-showing NASCAR tank top) standing by a Redbox. This lady looked about 12 kinds of pissed off. I headed on down to customer service and I’m there for a total of about 15 minutes. I start to round the corner to the exit and there is crazy NASCAR lady still standing by the Redbox. A Walmart employee came over and asked crazy-pants “Can I help you?”
Crazy swung around and said “Yeah, you can tell me why this thing won’t take my f***in’ dollar! It’s a brand new one too and I’ve tried stickin’ in it every hole in the G.D. machine!”
The employee and I both had to take a 3-5 second, OMG is this bitch serious, brain stun. So crazy said, “Well? Whichin’ is it? Whichin’ is the dollar hole?” I busted out laughing but I did try to get out the door as quickly as I possibly could. As I was leaving, I heard the employee tell her it only takes credit & debit cards. Crazy lady got all indignant and started ranting & raving about it’s probably owned but them “terrist” anyway and if they think they are too good for her hard earned American dollars, they could all go f*** themselves. There was a crowd by then and everyone busted out laughing.