So I’m walking through the Wally World parking lot towards my car and a woman up ahead catches my attention due to her loud conversation. As she approaches my direction, I assume she is talking on a blue tooth ear piece since she’s not holding a cellphone. As I pass her, I realize she is in fact talking on the phone. The phone just happens to be stuffed in her tank top. She had the phone on speakerphone and decided there were more economical ways to go hands free when talking on the phone. She continued talking to her chest as she walked into the store.
The other day I was walking into Walmart to make a quick return. As I walked through the door, I notice the typical female Walcreature (badly permed mullet, NASCAR t-shirt that was ever so cleverly turned into a dingy, bra-showing NASCAR tank top) standing by a Redbox. This lady looked about 12 kinds of pissed off. I headed on down to customer service and I’m there for a total of about 15 minutes. I start to round the corner to the exit and there is crazy NASCAR lady still standing by the Redbox. A Walmart employee came over and asked crazy-pants “Can I help you?”
Crazy swung around and said “Yeah, you can tell me why this thing won’t take my f***in’ dollar! It’s a brand new one too and I’ve tried stickin’ in it every hole in the G.D. machine!”
The employee and I both had to take a 3-5 second, OMG is this bitch serious, brain stun. So crazy said, “Well? Whichin’ is it? Whichin’ is the dollar hole?” I busted out laughing but I did try to get out the door as quickly as I possibly could. As I was leaving, I heard the employee tell her it only takes credit & debit cards. Crazy lady got all indignant and started ranting & raving about it’s probably owned but them “terrist” anyway and if they think they are too good for her hard earned American dollars, they could all go f*** themselves. There was a crowd by then and everyone busted out laughing.
I was monitoring the self checkout stands the other day at Walmart. This young man came up the the register and began scanning his items. He only had three. As I looked down at the monitor, the items go as follows: swimming goggles, KY jelly, and rubber gloves. I began to giggle trying to think of what he planned on doing with all of this. I guess I was laughing a little too loud because the young man heard me and began to turn several shades of red. As he left, he looked at me and said, “Want to join me?”
I was an associate for a few years and often stocked the pets department. A woman once asked me if Walmart sold life preservers for fish.