One day, back in my college days in the 80’s, I worked as a cashier in the local Wal-Mart. I haven’t seen my natural father for at least 12 years at that point… was a nasty split between my mom and dad and I had no clue he lived in the town I went to college in.
I checked out the lady and she wrote a check… It had both HIS and HER Full names on the check. I looked up and asked her was Mr. ______ born on Valentine’s day in 1948. She snapped back… Yes he was… what’s it to you? She began to berate me for being so nosy and my favorite manager came over to investigate what was going on. I looked at the Manager and said I asked her if her husband Mr. ______ was born on valentines day in 1948 and she thinks I’m being nosy and wants to know what’s it to me.
I was trying to be gentle and kind about it, but she was being quite a witch about it… so I just looked her dead in the eye and said “Oh nothing much, that’s my dad… I haven’t seen him in years… so I guess that makes you my step mom.”
All the color went from her face and I thought she was going to hit the floor.
I have since made peace with Dad and Step-Momster (actually she was exactly what he needed to straighten him out and I’m glad he found her) now I when I go visit I visit with her more than him.
One time when she was in the hospital her sister asked her how she got such a caring son… she always answers… “I picked him up at Wal-Mart”.
The other day I was walking into Walmart to make a quick return. As I walked through the door, I notice the typical female Walcreature (badly permed mullet, NASCAR t-shirt that was ever so cleverly turned into a dingy, bra-showing NASCAR tank top) standing by a Redbox. This lady looked about 12 kinds of pissed off. I headed on down to customer service and I’m there for a total of about 15 minutes. I start to round the corner to the exit and there is crazy NASCAR lady still standing by the Redbox. A Walmart employee came over and asked crazy-pants “Can I help you?”
Crazy swung around and said “Yeah, you can tell me why this thing won’t take my f***in’ dollar! It’s a brand new one too and I’ve tried stickin’ in it every hole in the G.D. machine!”
The employee and I both had to take a 3-5 second, OMG is this bitch serious, brain stun. So crazy said, “Well? Whichin’ is it? Whichin’ is the dollar hole?” I busted out laughing but I did try to get out the door as quickly as I possibly could. As I was leaving, I heard the employee tell her it only takes credit & debit cards. Crazy lady got all indignant and started ranting & raving about it’s probably owned but them “terrist” anyway and if they think they are too good for her hard earned American dollars, they could all go f*** themselves. There was a crowd by then and everyone busted out laughing.
I was monitoring the self checkout stands the other day at Walmart. This young man came up the the register and began scanning his items. He only had three. As I looked down at the monitor, the items go as follows: swimming goggles, KY jelly, and rubber gloves. I began to giggle trying to think of what he planned on doing with all of this. I guess I was laughing a little too loud because the young man heard me and began to turn several shades of red. As he left, he looked at me and said, “Want to join me?”
I was an associate for a few years and often stocked the pets department. A woman once asked me if Walmart sold life preservers for fish.