Stories

04.06.

Fun With Animals

I was a CSM in a brand new store that was pretty understaffed. Most of my lunches had to be covered by my support manager, or any assistant manager who was feeling nice.

One day when I came back, my support manager shoved the palm pilot and the schedule board into my hands and semi-yelled as she practically ran off, “I’M NEVER GOING TO COVER FOR YOU AGAIN!” … The lines weren’t long, customers seemed generally happy, all the breaks and meals were taken care of before I left… I didn’t know what her deal was until a service desk associate told me to go look at the lady standing at the service desk…

I stood there for a minute, signing slips and pretending to be there for a reason. I finally realized what she was talking about and almost tripped over myself while doing so — this lady had baby opossums in her hair!! LIVE baby opossums! The cashier finished the transaction and the other customers, who had been standing as far away as possible, came to the front, all astonished at the opossum lady…

Later I talked my APC (asset protection coordinator) to show me and the other CSM who came in a few hours later into showing us the tape. We watched as customers realized and backed off, covering their mouths while pointing at her hair.. But the real gem was our support manager, who was leaning towards her most of the time, not realizing the movement in her hair until she looked up about halfway through the transaction. She backed away suddenly – far enough to hit the back desk – and screamed not once, not twice, but three times all the while clutching at her heart. The lady wasn’t so amused…

Ah, man… One good thing that Walmart has done for me — I have some pretty dumbfounding stories now!!!

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05.25.

Dirt McGirt

I have worked at Walmart now for about 8 months. I have seen and heard many stories about people stealing merchandise. Well, this one takes the cake. There was a lady in our store one night looking at underwear. This lady was quite large I may add. She approached one of my fellow employees working in lady’s fashion, and asked to try on some underwear. The employee said, “I’m sorry ma’am, but its company policy that you cannot try on underwear, due to health reasons.” The lady looked angry but went on her own way. I was working the next night and I was going around picking up loose merchandise around 9, not too long before the store closes. I was coming by women’s fashion, when I found an empty pack of women’s plus size underwear. I never thought much of it, until I was called back for a clean up in the ladies changeroom. By the looks of it, the lady must have went into the change room, left her dirty, and I mean DIRTY underwear behind, piled on the 6 pairs of underwear, and left. Needless to say I damn well had loads of protection on when I disposed of those. Wow, people can be disgusting!

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03.15.

Fish Tales

I was an associate for a few years and often stocked the pets department. A woman once asked me if Walmart sold life preservers for fish.

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08.04.

THOSE People

I live in a melting pot of different lifestyles, religions, backgrounds, etc. And apparently, ALL of them shop at Wal-Mart. Unfortunately for some of them, so do the “evangelical Christians” who have taken it upon themselves to minister to the heathens, and feel as though they have the right to do so in as rude and obnoxious a manner as they please.

I was raised by a Baptist mother who was intolerant of homosexuality, and because of this, I am raising my son to appreciate, respect, and love everyone, regardless of race, color, creed, and sexual orientation.

One day, while we were shopping for school clothes for my then 8-year old son, we were arguing about some clothes that I picked out for him. I thought they were cute, and he said they were too “baby-looking.” We were approached by a semi-flamboyant gay man who was also shopping with a small child, and he and I struck up a friendly conversation about boys and their taste in clothes as they get older, while the kids looked for things on the racks around us. My son picked up a shirt and said, “What about this one?” The man said, “That looks really nice. You have good taste!” We chatted for another minute, and then he and his child went on their way.

After they were out of earshot, a Pentecostal woman (I could tell her denomination by her long hair, long skirt, lack of jewelry or makeup, and the scowl on her face) walked up and said, “I wouldn’t buy ANYTHING for my child that was suggested by one of THOSE people.”
“Excuse me?” I said, immediately getting angry.

“It’s people like you, who are tolerant of those abominations, that will send this country straight to hell!” she replied.

I was at a loss for words, so incensed was I at this ignorance and hatred, trying to come up with something to say to get my point across without setting a bad example for my son. But my little boy, without missing a beat, says, “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but hating people for no reason will send you to hell faster than my mom being nice and talking to that nice man.”

The woman couldn’t really say anything after that, whether from embarrassment or anger I couldn’t tell. So I picked up my son, gave him a big kiss, and said to her, “Unless you come to Him like this little child, you shall not enter the kingdom of Heaven.” I know it wasn’t an exact quote, but I didn’t care. As I walked away, I said to my son, “Love, 1, Hate, 0.” And he high-fived me.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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