So this one time I went into Walmart and there was an old guy handing out the carts. He asked me if I wanted one and I sarcastically said “No, I want a guy to walk behind me and carry my bags.”
The guy apparently didn’t know I wasnt for real and he actually had the cashier call over the speakers “John Peter to the front.” John Peter came to the front very excited and said “Yes sir, what do you need?”
“This lady here doesnt want a cart but she wants you to walk behind her and carry her items.” While all of this was going on, I was standing there cracking up. John said “Ma’am we dont offer that kind of service here, please take a cart and continue your shopping.”
When I left Walmart that day, the old man handing out the carts gave me a dirty look.
One evening as I was going to Walmart after my classes at GSU, it happened. I was walking down an aisle when I stumbled upon what looked like a man on the floor. I went back for a closer look, and there was a man and woman on the floor rolling around making out. I was absolutely shocked and just walked away. I then realized I needed to pick up something in the bra aisle, the aisle they were rolling around in of course. So, I went back hoping someone had noticed them and they would have been taken care of. Walking back, I stepped into the aisle and there they were, but this time something was different. They were completely naked! His male business was all up in hers! I was so shocked I began to gag, and went to get someone. I couldn’t find an employee, or manager of any type and it was getting late. I went back into the aisle to find them standing up feeling up on each other, I gave a soft cough and they looked up. It was very awkward for a couple seconds, and then the woman broke the silence, “What do you need? A bra? Look you got big tits, here!” She threw me a bra WAY too big for me, the man just stood there, nude and all. Then he said to me, “Come here hun, yours are bigger than hers. Lemme stick this baby in ya!” I let out a screech and ran, thankfully to find the manager who called the police and they were escorted out. But apparently, according to the cop, they couldn’t find their clothes and continued rolling around having sexual content in the back of the car! I was so outraged. I have never been to Walmart since!
About a year ago, my brother and I decided to stop by Walmart to pick up a movie and some snacks fairly late on a Saturday night. As we were driving through the parking lot, I noticed a pickup with a canopy and two people in the back parked near the road. As I wasn’t able to verify what I had seen on the first go-around, I asked my brother to drive by a second time, making sure to get close enough that his lights would shine in the canopy. Sure enough, there they were: nude and having sex. Wonderful.
My mom and I were in Walmart on Easter getting some food for dinner. We’re both rocker chicks, but we’re not stupid and over-the-top. We were both wearing band t-shirts, and a couple walked by us who had obviously just gotten out of church.
They were a manic short guy, who reminded me of a Walmart version of Tom Cruise, and his overweight girlfriend. When they saw my mom and I, they instantly shouted, “Happy Easter!” at us and stared for a second before walking off.
A few minutes later, I headed over to the yogurt when I saw the couple standing right in front of the toilet paper aisle, in a circle with a few other people, praying. Yes, praying smack in the middle of Walmart by the toilet paper. I made a face at them and kept walking.
Every time we walked by the couple, the manic short guy stared me down like he saw Satan’s minions flying out of my body or something. Then he stared at my chest for a second before walking on.