Stories

01.16.

Help!

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CITRUS HEIGHTS- A Walmart employee is hoping to reunite a child with the incredible book of rules that they wrote.

“Don’t get into other people’s business. Don’t call each other names. Clean up your messes. No eating other people’s food. One hundred eighteen is don’t keep saying please if someone says no. I like that,” said Raymond Flores as he reads off the kind of advice you might snatch up in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble.

“One hundred twelve is to try to make things fair,” reads Flores.

But these life lessons came to Walmart employee Flores at work, as he scanned the lot of his Citrus Heights store for empty carts.

“There really wasn’t much out there and I saw this book sitting in a parking spot, so I thought I’d pick it up and check it out,” said Flores.

After flipping through these little pages, Flores quickly realized he’d found something too special to be tossed.

“Rule number 154 was to protect this book,” he read.

Following the lead of the young author and Batman, one of his superhero idols, he wants to find the rightful owner.

“They put a lot of hard work into it. These rules mean a lot to them and probably to the parents, as well,” he said.

While it’s obvious the more trained hand of a parent wrote down several of the rules, page turning reveals words and wisdom penned by a little person.

“Ware (sic) your seatbelt.”

“Resicle (sic)”

“One of them is go to bed early if you have dance in the morning. That applies to more than just dance. If you have work, school, anything important; just prioritize,” Flores said.

“Put your shoes by the front door when you take them off,” he reads that line as he looks over at his own shoes piled by a doorway.

Other listed ‘rules’ to live by that appear to have come from a child, speak across years they’ve yet to live.

“Don’t leave your friends behind and no texting and driving at the same time,” Flores read.

The other reason’s he’s so interested in getting the book back to it’s author, is that it’s clear rule 158 was in progress when the book was lost.”

“I thought this was adorable. I just thought it was really nice and stuff. What kind of kid does this,” he said.

Flores can’t wait to find out.

He’s hoping this story reaches the book’s owner and it can be returned.

One the rules that might stand out the most: Don’t bite the dentist.

If you’re the author or connected to the child who is, Flores is asking you to email FOX40′s Sonseeahray Tonsall at [email protected]

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04.02.

Lettuce Check For Stool

I was wandering toward the produce when I experienced a typical Walmart moment. The customer I spotted looked like so many others that I have seen on this site. She was probably in her mid-to-late 50s, and she gave off that obvious vibe of someone whose primary residence sits on cinder blocks or wheels. Modified power-mullet? Check. Tank top with no bra? Check. Shorts and flip-flops even though it was a frosty 37 degrees outside? Check and check. And what was she doing? Why, she was using the shopping cart as a makeshift platform on which to change a toddler’s dirty diaper. She has yet to see me, which partially explains what happened next. After dropping the used diaper/naps bundle to the floor and kicking it aside, she then looked at her hand, noticed what had to have been some sort of poopy residue, reached over into the produce bin, and started to wipe her hand on a large head of lettuce.

Now I’m normally pretty non-confrontational, but after seeing this, I just blurted out “Oh come on! What are you, an animal!?” She turned to look at me, and for a split-second I saw it in her eyes: she knew that she had really crossed over a line, and she also knew that she had been stone-cold busted. But like I said, this look only lasted for a second. Her face then reverted to normal, and she told me to go fuck myself.

Ah yes, the classic rhetorical escalation uttered in countless WalMart arguments. She started to push her cart toward the front of the store, so I called out “I’m going to find a manager and tell him what you did!” Her reply? “I didn’t do anything [whips out cellphone], and I’m going to call the cops!” So that’s how the argument ended, both of us threatening to tell on each other.

A Walmart associate then came out of the receiving area, so I told her what had happened and, to her credit, she bagged up 2 or 3 heads of lettuce along with the diaper.

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11.03.

No Cutting

I was with my sister at Walmart and the lines were painfully long. Everyone was waiting, but one lady on a motorized cart (who we saw several times at the store in passing) decided that she was in the right to cut ahead of EVERYONE in line, and started putting her items onto the conveyor belt for the self check-out.

Of course, everyone was royally pissed, and like most people, no one wanted to say a WORD about it except for the lady in front of us, and behind the line-cutter.

She started saying, “I’m sorry, but there’s a thing called a line. You have to wait like everyone else!”

The lady in the cart began to haul herself out of the cart (because she was quite a sizeable lady) and said “I had my stuff down on the conveyor belt first! Besides, my kids were here!” That’s when the 2 little ragamuffin kids that were looking at the candy bars in the aisle looked over, and ran to “help” their mother, by making kicking/punching motions, and faces at the lady.

The lady ahead of us calmy said, “I don’t care if they were here! They weren’t in front of me, and neither were you.” Then she looked at her children and said “Is that what your mommy taught you? To be rude to other people?”

By this time, a Wal-mart employee came and diffused the situation, and the line-cutter plus her 2 kids went to the back of the line as everyone applauded for the lady who stuck up for herself (and everyone else).

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03.11.

Happy Birthday Sprinkles!

On March 3, 2010, we were at Walmart ordering my daughter’s 18th birthday cake. The clerk took all the information. We decided that we wanted a gender neutral cake with no flowers or girly decorations, because my daughter wanted to share the cake with her friend since his birthday was 2 days after hers. While the clerk was verifying the details, the cake decorator came over and looked at the request. She said. ” Is this all you want on the cake?” I said, “Yes, just Happy 18th Birthday Taylor and Zach.” Then the decorator asked if we wanted sprinkles on the cake. My daughter said yes, because she didnt think that would be too girly. So the clerk wrote it on the order. On March 5th, I sent my husband to pick up the cake. He got it and was heading to the check out when he looked at the cake better and it read..”HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TAYLOR, ZACH AND SPRINKLES” He wondered who sprinkles was and if we had gotten a cat!!!! He returned to the cake counter and told them that the cake was wrong and they the attempted to remove “Sprinkles”, it left a big place in the icing that was very noticeable. The decorator then asked my husband if we wanted sprinkles on the cake to cover the place that they tried to fix. He told her that was what we wanted in the first place.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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