Stories

06.09.

Poopsicle

I used to work at Walmart. One morning when I came in, I overheard some of my co-workers talking about how the overnight clean up found a pile of poo near one of the big black freezer bins in the middle of the grocery isles. I figured “no way”, so I went up to a co-manager of mine and asked about the incident. He smiled and led me to the back were the cameras were and let me watch the whole scene unfold.

Apparently a bigger lady came in for some late night food shopping and needed to take a dump. So, she stopped near one of the freezer bins, proceeded to take a crap IN HER PANTS, twitch about a little bit, then stuck one foot behind the bin and jiggled her pant leg until a pile of poo plopped on the floor. She then went on with her grocery shopping….. didn’t even wipe.

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01.19.

First & Last Day On The Job

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day.

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. I said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Walmart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one is 9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”

So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, ma’am. I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart.”

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

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03.03.

Heard It Through The Grape Vine

I work at WalMart (hey, it’s a job). There’s the share of extremely nice customers, mixed with the few that we wish we had the balls to snap a photo for this site (on a daily basis).

I had a woman come and ask for help on a kiosk (in the photo center). She was in her late 40’s and me being nice obliged her. She rattled on and on about how helpful I was, how adorable I was, how sweet I was, and it made me a little bit uncomfortable. I tried several times to slowly just make it back to the counter, but she’d ask me a new question, peppered with “Sweetie” and “Baby”.

I noticed after that, that our market team had arrived and had started watching from the next isle over. So wanting to make a good impression, I stayed with the woman and helped her with everything.

She was showing me photos of her “Romantic” vacation, and suddenly asked “have you ever been hand fed grapes?” I replied “no”. She replied to that with “oh you should try it, it’s very romantic”

When she returned to pick up her photos, she had a bag of grapes in the cart, plucked one out and said “Take it” So I held out my hand and she said “No silly, I’m going to feed you the grape.”

I was VERY uncomfortable at this point, and noticed the market team and managers now in a better viewing position snickering and nodding their head ‘yes’.

So I ate the grape. From her hand. And she left.

Really nice woman, though.

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07.06.

Five Knuckle Shuffle

I have seen some pretty sick stuff since I started working for Walmart, but last night took the cake. I work at a Walmart in a college town and during the summer months we always have girls coming in to do late night shopping in their bikinis. Last night an older gentleman came into the story and was wandering around the men’s clothing. This guy was watching everyone in the area pretty closely, and when the coast was clear, he moved into the middle of one of the shirt racks. This guy wasnt very tall and was able to easily squat down under the rack. One of the ladies in the area called me over the walkie and asked that I come over to the area to see what was going on. As I walked over to the shirt rack I noticed 3 very cute girls in bikinis in the womens area looking at underwear, and I heard a moaning sound coming from the rack. I ran away from the shirt rack and had one of the associates call the police. The police arrived at the store pretty quickly and apprehended the guy as he was finishing his business.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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