Stories

07.12.

Family Matters

One day, back in my college days in the 80’s, I worked as a cashier in the local Wal-Mart. I haven’t seen my natural father for at least 12 years at that point… was a nasty split between my mom and dad and I had no clue he lived in the town I went to college in.

I checked out the lady and she wrote a check… It had both HIS and HER Full names on the check. I looked up and asked her was Mr. ______ born on Valentine’s day in 1948. She snapped back… Yes he was… what’s it to you? She began to berate me for being so nosy and my favorite manager came over to investigate what was going on. I looked at the Manager and said I asked her if her husband Mr. ______ was born on valentines day in 1948 and she thinks I’m being nosy and wants to know what’s it to me.

I was trying to be gentle and kind about it, but she was being quite a witch about it… so I just looked her dead in the eye and said “Oh nothing much, that’s my dad… I haven’t seen him in years… so I guess that makes you my step mom.”

All the color went from her face and I thought she was going to hit the floor.

I have since made peace with Dad and Step-Momster (actually she was exactly what he needed to straighten him out and I’m glad he found her) now I when I go visit I visit with her more than him.

One time when she was in the hospital her sister asked her how she got such a caring son… she always answers… “I picked him up at Wal-Mart”.

25 Comments Stories

03.15.

Fish Tales

I was an associate for a few years and often stocked the pets department. A woman once asked me if Walmart sold life preservers for fish.

Tags: funny story, story

12 Comments Stories

07.25.

The Bread Winner

I was working the cash register during a late night shift when this drunk fella stumbled up to my line. I greeted him and the only thing that he said to me was “Whatever you do, don’t squish my bread.” He said this to me multiple times. He gathered his two bags of groceries, proceeded to snag his shirt on the corner the counter, tripped, and smashed his bread.

I tried to hold back a laugh but was just too good to pass up.

9 Comments Stories

05.20.

You’re Not My Dad!

So I’m walking through Walmart behind this guy and his son. The kid has to be about 6 or 7 tops. We’re walking past the toys section when the kid asks his dad if they can stop and look. The dad informs him nicely that they don’t have time for toys today. The kid continues to ask and beg loudly and I can tell the dad is getting frustrated. He grabs the kids arm, telling him no, and begins yanking him away from the toy aisle.

As if on cue the kid begins screaming, “Who are you? You’re not my dad! Let me go!”

People are staring, confused, wondering if they should do something. The dad turns red and drags his kid out of Walmart with a bunch of concerned customers and employees watching.

My only question is, where in the hell did this kid learn something like that?

6 Comments Stories