I’m Skeptical…

The feckless imbeciles at Wal-Mart never cease to amaze me with their shenanigans.

I was buying some printer ink when I heard this God-awful retching sound coming from the next aisle over.  Being the inquisitive guy that I am, I went to the end of the aisle and peeked around the corner.  What I saw there I shall never be able to forget.

You know how typically a woman who is hours away from birthing would notice the increased number of pains, and not decide that it is a perfectly good time to purchase a new laptop at Wal-Mart?

The sight before my unwilling eyes at once astounded and terrified and even sickened me.  A tremendously obese blob of a woman was lying in a pool of her own bile, with a huge stain of blood/something else on her (thankfully long) dress.  Her legs were spread, to my horror, out and toward me.  Emerging from the folds of her vagina was a baby’s head (at least I hope that’s what it was).

I couldn’t wrench my eyes away from this foul and yet interesting sight.  She continued to spew more and more bile into her immediate surroundings, while all the time screaming loudly.

By this time, a crowd of shoppers was gathered around both ends of the aisle, while her husband/boyfriend/whatever was nowhere to be seen.  In fact, the mentally slow greeter actually bowled his way through the crowd and yelled at everybody “Get back! This is a tremendous event in this young lady’s life, and she deserves privacy!”

Privacy?  Really?

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