I was in my local Ohio WalMart about a week ago. I was making a simple purchase of a new shitty book and some Goldfish crackers.

The cashier I had was a chubby young woman, no more than 22 or 23. She was in her WalMart smock with what I’ll assume was a tie-dyed shirt her child had made at school underneath.

I handed the woman my two items, and there were at least 5 people behind me in line. The woman proceeded to tell me that she was excited to be getting off work in about an hour.

Apparently, her baby daddy had to undergo a procedure that day at the doctor. Apparenly… he wasn’t producing enough urine, so his body was expelling sperm and/or shit through his urethra instead. She told me this in graphic detail, and continued to talk even after I paid and was ready to walk away. I couldn’t stop listening, I had to know the dramatic conclusion!

She was excited to be getting off work because she got to go home and check her husband’s piss for blood, and then they were supposed to have sex with a special prescription condom to take a look at the sperm and report back to the doctor. Lovely.

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