While at my local Walmart one Sunday evening, I am pushing my cart around the corner in the beauty section and notice a male in his 40’s with his penis exposed masturbating and top speed. He is staring in the direction of a lady and her young daughter, and how they did not notice him I can’t figure out. I tell my friend to go and get the manager, and I proceed to follow him around the store. About 5 minutes later my friend catches up with me and says the police have been called and are on their way. We continue to follow this man around and the police finally show up and arrest him for indecent exposure and lewd conduct. The worst part of this story….turns out he was there with his wife and 3 young children.
Ok, as embarrassing as this is, a few years ago I had the need to buy some medication for a yeast infection. I went to the closest and thankfully empty checkout lane to make my purchase when I was told this little gem from my cashier. “You know, next time you can save yourself some money and just put some plain yogurt up there. I do it and it works just as good.”
The cashier still works at our Walmart and no matter how busy it may be I can not bring myself to walk through her line.
So my 3 year old daughter and I were in Walmart walking down the aisle when low and behold, a “plus, plus sized woman” wearing a long shirt and nothing else, decides to bend over to get something off the bottom shelf. We get a full moon (wearing a thong or nothing, I’m not sure) and my daughter loudly says, “Mommy why do we see her bum?” Everyone around starts laughing, while the woman stands up, gives a huff and exclaims “Your daughter is rude!” As she storms off I tell her how rude it was for her to show us the moon!
One Walmart experience among many – I am trying to get to the dog food aisle with my cart to grab a 40 lb. bag. Of course there is a giant pillar in the middle of the aisle and pallets of food are strategically stacked to make one’s shopping experience the “total Walmart package.” The “Round Family” barrels towards me. Pa, in his overalls with no shirt on underneath and more hair on his back than Cousin It, leads his brood past me 3 abreast shoving me into into the dog food racks. I SARCASTICALLY say, “Excuse me!” Ma turns to me and grunts at me while whackin’ at little Cletus, and says, “No problem.” I respond, “You clearly don’t get sarcasm, do you?” She says, “You’ll have to ask someone who works here where that is.”