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01.26.

Some Of That Yack

One time I went to my neighborhood Walmart on a Saturday evening at about 6:00 pm. This Walmart was in a poor neighborhood in town. As I was going through the entrance, I noticed that the cart area was closed because a Walmart worker was mopping something up. I listened closer and heard the worker explain to the customer: “Oh, this area’s closed. Someone threw up here. I’m surprised because the homeless don’t usually throw up until later on Saturday nights after they’ve gotten drunk.” Mind you, she wasn’t phased that there was vomit on the floor, only that it was so early on a Saturday night. What mustn’t one get used to while working at Walmart?

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05.05.

Edward 40-Hands

I decided to go into my local Wal-Mart last night to grab a few items around 11:30. Surprisingly, I only saw one powermullet, and was quite sad that I didn’t catch any humorous displays as I usually do, until I got to the checkout line. Of course, only two lanes were open, but I got lucky and ended up behind two people. The first person had a buggy full, but the second guy had three 40 ounce beers. In my town, it is against the law to sell an alcoholic beverage after midnight, so when the guy finally got to the counter, he was quite dismayed to hear that he couldn’t purchase his beers because it was now 12:02.

“BUT I’VE BEEN WAITING IN LINE FOR 10 MINUTES!” he yelled at the obviously grumpy young “lady” at the register. Another customer piped in and told him just to drive over the bridge that separates our town from our “sister” city which does sell after midnight. This just made the hostile drunk even more hostile. “NO, I want my beer, NOW!” He finally accepted the fact that the register would not allow the girl to even ring the beer up and stumbled/stomped towards the doors.

I ended up, as unlucky and unbelievable as it sounds, being parked right next to this drunk. By the time I got to my car, a good 5 minutes after he walked out, he was trying frantically to unlock his car. He couldn’t get the key into the hole for the life of him. Finally, though, he succeded and almost belly flopped into the driver’s seat. I watched in horror (and slight amusement) as he, I assume, attempted to put his car in reverse, but instead put it in drive, and went through the bars of the shopping cart return and snowplowed about 20 carts. I’d never seen a shopping cart fly until last night.

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12.04.

The Cocaine Diet

I was standing behind two young girls at my local Walmart a couple of weeks go. One girl casually stated that she was going on a cocaine diet. The other girl said she found starving herself a much cheaper & effective way to lose weight because you don’t have to buy cocaine or food. I could not believe I was witnessing this conversation.

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07.05.

Salinas Couple Try To Sell Baby For $25

A Salinas man accused of trying to sell his 6-month-old baby for $25 Tuesday was assaulted while being held in Monterey County Jail, authorities said.

Patrick Fousek, 38, and Samantha Tomasini, 20, the baby’s mother, were arrested on Wednesday at their residence on the 700 block of East Romie Lane, police said.

Police said Fousek had approached two women and asked to use their cell phone outside Walmart on North Davis Road. After he finished his phone call, they said, Fousek asked the women, who had been playing with the baby, if they would like to purchase his daughter for $25.

Police said Fousek immediately left and went to the car where the mother, 20-year-old Tomasini, was waiting. As the couple drove away, they said, the two women were able to get the pair’s license plate number.

Police said officers found the couple at their home about 1 a.m. Wednesday.

The county District Attorney’s Office said the couple was charged with child endangerment and attempting to dissuade a witness, both felonies. The couple also faces charges of being under the influence of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia, both misdemeanors.

The couple pleaded not guilty today to charges they tried to sell their 6-month-old baby for $25 Tuesday night outside of Walmart, the District Attorney’s Office said.

The couple is expected to appear in court on July 7.

County sheriff’s Cmdr. Mike Richards said Fousek was assaulted by multiple inmates about 10:15 p.m. on Thursday. Richards said the inmates found out about Fousek’s arrest from watching the news.

He said Fousek received bruises to his face and two broken ribs. He was transported to Natividad Medical Hospital for treatment.

No arrests have been made in the assault, Richards said, which is still under investigation.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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