Stories

02.24.

Watch Your Children

I was grocery shopping with my daughter & grandma at my local Walmart. My daughter was barely two at the time so she sat in the cart. I was going through the aisles when my grandma realized she forgot something so she left the aisle I was in. I went to grab something off the shelf (while taking my hands off the cart for a split second) when all of a sudden some guy grabbed my shoulder. In the creepiest voice imaginable he proceeded to tell me to keep close eye on my daughter because his was kidnapped that very same day. In complete shock all I could fathom was “I’m sorry” and tried to hurriedly get away from him. He then said he’d help “keep an eye out for me” and followed me the next two aisles. Once my grandma returned I whispered to her to get out of here, don’t ask any questions. I grabbed my daughter and left the cart full of stuff. I told my grandma the story in the car (she’s very naive) and she said “Maybe he was just warning you,” but I told her why would a guy who’s daughter was just kidnapped be trolling the aisles of Walmart?

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03.31.

Walmart Bumper Cars

My son and I were walking back to our car which was parked way out near the street when we heard a squealing of tires and a crash. We looked over into the next row of parked cars to see a woman in a midsize green car pushing a parked car as she turned left. She pushed the parked car into the next 3 cars in that row crashing them all together like dominoes. Then she moved to the cars parked across the aisle and hit one of those pushing it into another 5 cars before she finally stopped. Making a total of 10 wrecked cars from one crazy WalMart driver (11 if you count hers). I grabbed my seven year old and ran away from the area. In case she started going again I didn’t want my son to be injured.

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08.04.

“Mom of the Year” Award Goes To…

Having spent my entire life in Texas with the exception of 7 years in Arkansas, I used to think that there was no way I would ever see displays of ignorance or idiocy akin to what I’d experienced in “Bill Clinton Land,” after returning home to Texas. Well, one fateful night at Wal-Mart in my home state, I was proven wrong.

Shortly upon entering the store, I’d noticed a rather large woman, who was visibly economically impaired. She had with her 4 children, 2 of them in nothing but diapers, and she had them all sitting in her buggy. The youngest of the babies was probably about 7 months old, and because it was close to 11 at night, the poor little thing was cranky and exhausted, not unlike his siblings, and understandably, the mother herself was rather frazzled and short tempered. I wanted to point out that if she had her children at home in the bed at such a late hour, she would probably not be in that situation, but I held my tongue because perhaps she was a working mom who just got off work or something, and had to go to the store for milk or other various necessities.

I was soon proven wrong on this, however, because I saw her a few minutes later in the beer and wine section, with cartons of ale and bottles of wine shoved in the basket in the available space not taken up by her children. And the littlest baby had decided that enough was enough, and was squalling so loudly it could have woken the dead. I felt sorry for the poor thing, and remembered that I had a brand new pacifier, still in the package, in my purse for any tantrum emergencies for my own baby. So I went up to the woman and said, “You must have your hands full. I have a new binky in my purse, it hasn’t been opened yet, you are welcome to it if you’d like.”

The woman blinked and said, “Oh, no, I don’t let my babies use those things. It’s bad for their teeth, and I think they need to have other ways of soothing themselves.” I shrugged and walked away to the dairy section, leaving behind the screaming baby, and a minute later I noticed the baby had stopped crying. Curious, I scanned the aisles to see what she had done to quiet him down. Well, the woman whose children were too good for pacifiers had given her child an unopened bottle of beer from one of her cartons and he was happily sucking on it. Go figure.

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12.08.

Lesbian Lovers

A few years ago I was out at night with my parents and before heading home they decided that they needed to go get a few things at Wal-Mart. It was about 9:00 pm so the place was fairly crowded but we were lucky enough to find a parking spot pretty close to the front doors. Well I was tired and a bit lazy so I decided to stay in the car and listen to the radio while they went inside and shopped. Now I’m not going to say what happened next was funny or disgusting or worthy of being posted on PoWM but it was an unique experience and I feel kinda left out that nothing truly amazing has happened to me at Wal-Mart, so I’m going to try.

After a few minutes I noticed a couple girls walking out but didn’t pay them too much attention until they got to their car which was parked on the next aisle over from where I was. They just stood around outside their car and talked for a few minutes (big deal, right?) but then they started making out. (Yes, another making out at the wally world story) Now, I just think it is in bad taste for anyone to make out, regardless of sexual orientation, in a very public place.

But, I thought “Whatever floats their boat” and continued to jam out to some tunes. But, since they were pretty much right in front of me I couldn’t help but watch in fascination as they continued to make out oblivious to the world around them. Well after a few minutes of this I guess they decided that making out on the back of their car wasn’t enough. So they get in the front seats of their vehicle (which I thought was odd given what happened next) and I see their seat backs lower and soon disappear. Now (1) if you are going to be doing that get in the back seat, it’s a lot more comfortable and (2) don’t do it in such a public place where anyone can just walk up and see you…which is exactly what happened.

A few minutes later this guy comes out of Wal-Mart and apparantly notices the activity in the car. So he gets to within about 2 feet of the car and watches…he was still watching about 15 minutes later when my parents finally came out and we left. Subtle dude, real subtle.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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