Diamond Studded Vajayjay
I used to work at a store in the mall that had a Walmart attached to it. The mall security also worked as security for the Walmart, and one day I heard a story from one of the security guards that was less than appetizing.
Apparently a woman in late-middle age was suspected of shoplifting. As the story went she had some jewelry that in order to smuggle out of the store without paying for them, had stuffed them into her hoo-ha. The security guard telling me the story had to take her into a back room to get the merchandise back. While she was pulling the jewelry back out, she apparently lost bowel control and shit all over herself, her hand, and the merchandise. Apparently the security guard had to clean it off so it could be accounted for afterwards. No word if it went back out on the rack for sale.