While waiting in line at my local Wal-Mart with a 50lbs bag of dog food, I had a woman ask me if I was going to feed my dogs. Now I’m a big fan of “here’s your sign” so this is how I responded… “No actually I’m on the dog food diet, you just carry around a small bag of dog food and any time you get hungry you eat a handful. Works great, last time I lost 30lbs, but I ended up in the hospital for a week.” By now everyone else in line is listening including the woman who asked the stupid question and I knew she was about to ask another one. I had to hold back laughter when she said “OMG, what happened? Did you get sick from all the dog food?” Without cracking a smile I responded, “Nope, I was sitting in the road licking myself when I got hit by a car.” Everyone in line busted out laughing and the woman stormed off. I have to add though, I didn’t make up the story myself I heard it on a comedy show and had to use it when the oppurtunity prosented itself.