I work night shift at Walmart, which means I see some grade-A crazies. One night when I came in to begin my shift, I noticed a cart from a store across the street in the entry way filled with stuff. I asked the greeter about it and he said a woman had come in around 9pm and left it there while she shopped our store. I didn’t think about it until I had to cover greeter breaks around 5:00am and a tiny old woman in an obnoxiously bright floral dress and giant bubble coat hobbles up to the cart area with a cart full of recent purchases. She had been in the store for eight hours and then proceeded to spend another hour sorting the groceries, double bagging them, and then asking me (in a voice that sounded like she had been smoking without a break since she was 3) for a marker. I gave her one, and as thanks she let me in on a “very important secret” about the poison the government puts in our water and processed cheese.

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