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04.14.

Sopping Up The Alcohol

I was doing some grocery shopping recently at my local Wal-Mart. A friend of mine, who is an employee there, stopped me and said “You’ve got to come and see this!” I followed him to the paper towel/toilet paper aisle, where there was a small crowd gathered, and pointed to the racks and said “Look behind the paper towels.” I looked, and what I saw was hilarious. A man, probably around 50 years old, was laying on a row of Bounty paper towels, sleeping. Next to him were several empty Busch Light cans and two bags of Cooler Ranch Doritos. My friend informed me that the police were on their way and that they hadn’t known how long the man had been there. When the police arrived, they made everyone back away so that they could extract sleeping beauty from his quicker-picker-upper mattress. When they pulled the man out, he was obviously intoxicated, and the police proceeded to ask him what he was doing. He answered them honestly, stating “Well, officer, I was gonna lay in there until closing time and I was gonna steal me a couple T.V.’s.” The police officer said in response “Sir, this is a 24-hour establishment. They don’t close..” The man said, “Well, no shit?”

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04.14.

Feeling Frisky

My mother and I were standing outside Wal-Mart while I was having a smoke before shopping. An older gentleman in his 70s approaches us and starts jabbing his umbrella at my mom. He opens it, spins it around and says “Where is my buddy at?” He walks off and we start laughing hysterically. A few minutes later he walks back towards us and this time slaps my mom right in the butt with the umbrella! He kinda shakes his head and says “I just couldn’t resist” and leaves. I guess even old men feel frisky once in a while.

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04.14.

Smooth Criminals

I was a student in high school at the time and was a cashier at the local Wal-Mart as a part time job. One Saturday, the CSM’s were coming around and telling all of the cashiers that there were two ladies back in the children/baby clothing and they were switching price tags on clothes, putting cheaper prices on more expensive items. We were given a description of the two ladies and were told to come up with an excuse to page a CSM if they came through our line. Well, guess who the lucky cashier was that day? And I didn’t even have to make an excuse to page the CSM. The idiots provided me with enough reason. I scanned a baby girl outfit and on the screen it came up “boy infant jumper”. So I told them there seemed to be something wrong that this girl outfit rang up as a boy outfit. I called for the CSM to do a price check. They started getting fidgety and pissy after this. After the price check they claimed we were ripping them off and they left. Word of advise to would be criminals: If you are going to do something like this, do it right! At least exchange a girls clothing tag for a girls clothing tag!

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04.14.

A Date With Jill

My college roomate and I decided to go to Walmart at 3 am to buy supplies for a beer bong. (Yes, we were fitting in well with the other Wal-creatures) When we got to the checkout line, there was a creepy-looking 60-plus year old man in front of us. The man had 3 items: a bottle of Jack Daniels, a tube of KY Jelly, and the latest copy of TeenBOP magazine. My roomate and I both began dry-heaving when we pieced together his latenight plans. I wish had one of those ‘Men In Black’ memory erasers.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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