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04.06.

Fun With Animals

I was a CSM in a brand new store that was pretty understaffed. Most of my lunches had to be covered by my support manager, or any assistant manager who was feeling nice.

One day when I came back, my support manager shoved the palm pilot and the schedule board into my hands and semi-yelled as she practically ran off, “I’M NEVER GOING TO COVER FOR YOU AGAIN!” … The lines weren’t long, customers seemed generally happy, all the breaks and meals were taken care of before I left… I didn’t know what her deal was until a service desk associate told me to go look at the lady standing at the service desk…

I stood there for a minute, signing slips and pretending to be there for a reason. I finally realized what she was talking about and almost tripped over myself while doing so — this lady had baby opossums in her hair!! LIVE baby opossums! The cashier finished the transaction and the other customers, who had been standing as far away as possible, came to the front, all astonished at the opossum lady…

Later I talked my APC (asset protection coordinator) to show me and the other CSM who came in a few hours later into showing us the tape. We watched as customers realized and backed off, covering their mouths while pointing at her hair.. But the real gem was our support manager, who was leaning towards her most of the time, not realizing the movement in her hair until she looked up about halfway through the transaction. She backed away suddenly – far enough to hit the back desk – and screamed not once, not twice, but three times all the while clutching at her heart. The lady wasn’t so amused…

Ah, man… One good thing that Walmart has done for me — I have some pretty dumbfounding stories now!!!

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04.06.

We Found Captain Winky!

It was a wonderful morning at the local Walmart. I had worked for them for about 6 years at this point. I had seen some some funny stuff in my time, but this one took the cake. We had just opened the store and a wonderful woman walked in wearing a white tube top and a pink mini skirt. She grabbed a cart and went about her shopping. As she walked to the front of the store, my fellow associates were all out in the middle of the aisle looking at her. Then it happened. Something fell out of her cart and as she went to pick it up, something fell out of skirt. Yes, whatever was holding her manhood up came loose and there it was for everyone to see. They all quickly turned away. She figured out what happend and quickly tried to put back what had fallen and continued to the check out. I quickly turned to find my manager to ask if I could go home cause I felt suddenly ill.

State: OH

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04.06.

Say Cheese!

I am an Electronics employee at Walmart and one evening I was called up to the service desk to check out a camera that was being returned. Our policy on this particular camera was “Sold as is. No refunds unless unopened or defective”.

The customers returning the camera were three young men with European accents. They had purchased the camera almost two weeks earlier and it had finger prints all over the the screens from use. While I was checking the camera out, my coworker and I listened to them talk on their cellphones about how they were on vacation in the states and would be leaving from LAX the next evening. They mentioned that they took a road trip up the coast to the Canadian Border and back and took “some neat pictures of the ocean”.

After the customer hung up his cellphone, I asked him why he was returning the camera and he said, “I just don’t need it anymore. It works fine.” I told him we could not take back the camera because it had been used and was in fine working order. He changed his story and said he had never used it. He asked his buddies to back him up, and they did.

We called our Assistant Manager over to check it out and we could not find any proof that they had in fact used the camera. They insisted that the finger prints were from me.

Just when it looked like they were going to get their way, I instantly remembered that although there was no memory card in the camera, there was a space on the internal memory to save pictures. The customer was demanding corporates number, saying he did not use the camera at all and that we (the employees) framed him and “Americans are rude.” In the middle of this I brought up the internal memory and there was a picture of him and his three buddies, clearly in a car in the dark, cheesin’ for the camera, among others.

Me: “And what is this?”
Customer: “Ummm….”
Assistant Manager: “Certainly you aren’t accusing my employees of walking out to your car with you and taking a picture of you and your friends, are you? And theres snow in the background. Did my employees manage to make it snow here in Los Angeles, too?”
Customer: “I don’t know how that got there. You did it…. how did you do it? I dislike America, very much. F*** You.”

He and his buddies grabbed the camera and took off.

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04.06.

It Puts The Lotion On It’s Skin

Many years ago, I worked at a small town Walmart. A lady came to the service desk one day and said that her mother had just died and the manager told her she could return several items her mother had bought. She began to remove the items from a Walmart bag and I started to ring up the return. Half way through, I came to a bottle of lotion that wouldn’t scan. Sure enough, a price tax from a local dollar store was right on the front of the bottle.
I politely said, “Ma’am, I can’t take this. It isn’t Walmart merchandise.”
Well…that made her angry. She started to mumble that I was only telling her that because I was white and didn’t like her and didn’t care that she’d just lost her mother.
After repeating the exchange several times, she finally raised her voice and told me I wouldn’t take the return because she was black and she wanted a supervisor. It just so happens, my supervisor was also black…and she wouldn’t take the lotion either.
The woman stuffed her lotion back in her bag, took her return money and shuffled away, still mumbling about how prejudiced I was….

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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