I used to work at a store in the mall that had a Walmart attached to it. The mall security also worked as security for the Walmart, and one day I heard a story from one of the security guards that was less than appetizing.
Apparently a woman in late-middle age was suspected of shoplifting. As the story went she had some jewelry that in order to smuggle out of the store without paying for them, had stuffed them into her hoo-ha. The security guard telling me the story had to take her into a back room to get the merchandise back. While she was pulling the jewelry back out, she apparently lost bowel control and shit all over herself, her hand, and the merchandise. Apparently the security guard had to clean it off so it could be accounted for afterwards. No word if it went back out on the rack for sale.
Saturday evening and Wally World is packed–every motorized cart is racing around the store like it’s the Indy 500; aisles are packed with people standing and staring trying to decide between Duncan Hines and Pillsbury cake mixes; etc. You get the picture.
Since I only had a few items I had forgotten at another store earlier in the day, my son and I wandered off to the “express” checkout and were just getting up to the counter, when I heard a rather loud, annoying ringtone from somewhere off to the west. Could not figure out the location, but after about five seconds, my mind finally put the notes together and someone on our side of the store was playing “Dueling Banjos” from Deliverance as their ringtone. Maybe it was their relatives calling from Georgia!
I made the mistake of going to the local Walmart past 10pm and right after the first of the month. I was back in the baby department when I heard yelling and shouting towards the front of the store. So, being the curious, drama loving woman that I am, I went towards the noise. I made it halfway through the store to see a crowd of black women shouting at each other with about 8 kids ranging in age from 1 – 10 running around the front of the store. I have no clue what the women were screaming at each other about but once they were done fighting they turned to take out their frustration on their children that were running around through all the aisles ripping products off the shelves. I watched one mother, who was no more then 19 and pregnant, grab a Slim Jim out of her son’s hand and chase him through the aisles whipping him with the Slim Jim. Forget picking up what he had thrown everywhere, she just continued to beat him with the Slim Jim then threw it onto the floor.
Last night I had to stop at Walmart after getting off work late. I got the items I needed and went to check out the video game area, like I usually do. On my way over I was passed by about 5 giggling teenage boys about 15 or 16 years old. They were holding various odd items, condoms, funny hats, packaged knives, and some other stuff they obviously had no intent to buy. The started running through the photo development/electronics area when I photo tech guy yells out “No running, please!” This sent the swarm of boys into a loud giggling fit, they then continued to turn on each stereo system very loudly, each to a different station. The photo tech guy (keeping in mind this guy is about 6′ 7″ and looks like he could bench press a car, plus he had a pretty sweet pony tail) approaches the boys and gives them the kind of lecture that you could only get from and 80’s teen movie principal or someone who really hates kids. He proceeded to take all the items away from the kids and call 8, yes EIGHT security guards to escort the lads out.